Crouching Kitsune Hidden Dragon
by Strawberriesaresexy
Summary: Chinese action film meet Naruto. NaruSasu. Side pairings: KakaIru, KibaHina M for: Eventual Lemons and MPreg
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** So, this is my favorite story. It's a mish-mash of a bunch of chinese action movies with a Naruto twist and I hope you'll like it! Review, if you like it or even if you don't. Anyway, I don't own Naruto.

Wrapped in silken brocade and flower garlands with a diaphanous shroud veiling his face from view Sasuke felt he looked more like a temple sacrifice than a bride. The irony certainly didn't escape him.

He felt a wrenching on his arm and hastened to fall into step with his father, looking pointedly past the gray-tinted man waiting for him at the end of the aisle. A nagging voice in the back of his head reminded him that even if he didn't look now he was going to have to tonight, but Sasuke squashed it, focusing instead on the smell of singed leaves and cool air. This would be his last autumn in Konoha, he may as well embrace it while he could.

Sasuke's arm dropped to his side, his cue to stop walking and wait for his turn to speak.

"Dearly Beloved…" The Priest began to the staccato of horse's in the distant, "We are gathered," The cantering sound grew louder to the point of distraction and across from him Orochimaru looked irritated, "To join together in holy matrimony…"

"I-it's Kyuubi!" One of the guards yelled instantly causing panic to spread through the crowd.

"I object!" Naruto yelled as he rode up to the ceremony.

Sasuke's head flew in the direction of the voice, his veil catching and snagging in the process, "Dobe." He muttered.

"Uchiha-san." One of Orochimaru's men had grabbed him by the elbow and was attempting to lead him toward the temple, "Come on, it's not safe for you out here."

Kakashi sighed already exasperated just watching Naruto be an idiot. 'I knew this was going to happen.' He thought as he ran with the other guards to attack Naruto.

Naruto refused to stop for anything; riding his horse straight down the aisle Sasuke had been walking down moments before. The murderous look in his eyes and the speed he rode his horse at while galloping to the guards was more than enough to drive them back and it seemed he reached the temple Sasuke had been dragged to rather easily.

Dismounting his horse he ran into the temple with his sword unsheathed and ready for a fight. However it was not a fight that greeted Naruto, it was a shaking guard and Sasuke. He pointed his sword at the guard's neck. "Leave. Now." Naruto growled at him.

The man looked back and forth from Naruto to Sasuke before saying, "I-I can't leave him to the likes of you," with as much conviction as he could muster.

Kakashi entered the temple walking over to the three. "You can leave. I've got this." He told the man who eagerly complied.

"Dobe what are you doing here?" Sasuke seethed as soon as the other man had taken his leave.

"Teme, I changed my mind. I can't let you marry that creepy asshole! I just can't! Come back with me we'll work it out!"

Kakashi merely allowed the scene to play out as he reached to get his book from his back pocket.

"I can't." Sasuke said as flatly as he could manage, "This is best for both of us."

"Sasu-chan, please," Naruto pleaded with the eye of a kicked puppy. "Come home. This can't be best."

Kakashi looked out the door to see the same man that ran out of the temple leading a group of guards toward the temple. "You need to get out of here, Naruto."

"No, damn it! I'm not done talking to Sasuke!" Naruto screamed.

"Yes you are." Sasuke said pushing Naruto toward the back door just as the guards walked in.

"Unhand Uchiha-san," The guard in the front said gallantly.

"I'm not handing him! He's handing me!" Naruto protested. He spun out of Sasuke's grasp to face the band of guards grasping his sword and assuming a fighting position. "I did come to take Sasuke back though so if you've gotta problem with that then I'll be more than happy to fight you for him."

The guards charged Naruto and Fugaku and Itachi came in the back, "Sasuke get out of here." Itachi said grabbing Sasuke's arm and pulling him toward the doors. The sudden jerk threw Sasuke off balance and he fell face first out to the ground grabbing his stomach on instinct.

"You bastards! Stop being so rough with him! He's pregnant!" Naruto screamed at Itachi and Fugaku while simultaneously trying to fight off the guards.

Sasuke gaped, opening and closing his mouth like a fish for a moment before passing out cold.

* * *

><p><em>Six months earlier…<em>

Sasuke fingered the tiny jade comb memorizing all the invisible chips along its fine teeth. Even in the heightened altitude the air was dense with summer heat and Sasuke found himself drifting in and out of consciousness.

"Careful with that Sasuke," His mother's drowsy voice cut through the haze, "It's an heirloom."

"I won't break it." Sasuke's own voice sounded far away even to him and he did his best to focus on the little comb in his hand, attempting to anchor himself to his surroundings.

The carriage bounced along on the narrow mountain path and even in his semi-conscious state Sasuke was aware of their increased speed. They were moving into rebel territory.

Naruto looked down at the unsuspecting carriage baring the Uchiha emblem. He smirked at it. "You guys ready," he called out to the ambush group. He grinned when the group yelled their excitement about the mission. "Charge!"

The men screamed once again as they kicked their horses into action. They followed Naruto into action and circled the carriage.

"It's Kyuubi!" The guards yelled as they charged to defend the carriage.

Sasuke felt himself thrown forward as their carriage came to an abrupt halt. Pulling himself off the floor Sasuke lift the veil of the window. "Sasuke!" Sasuke's mother screamed grabbing his wrist, "Put down the blind before they see you."

But her pleas fell on deaf ears as Sasuke stared entranced at the battle taking place outside.

Naruto rode up to the window Sasuke was staring out of. Noticing the jade comb in his hand and thinking it may be of some value, Naruto quickly snatched it from Sasuke's hand smirking and winking at Sasuke he rode away. "Come on, guys! Let's head back to camp!" He yelled out.

'That audacious prick,' Sasuke eyes narrowed at the retreating back and without a second thought he was climbing out the window, kicking the first rebel he saw off his horse.

"Give me back my comb!" He screamed cantering up to the larger blonde.

Naruto stared incredulously back at Sasuke. "You followed me?" He yelled at him before breaking off from the group as not to lead Sasuke to their camp. That's when Naruto decided to have a little fun. He held up the comb for Sasuke to inspect. "You want it? Come get it!"

Sasuke's face contorted in a mix of frustration and determination. Using what little riding skill he had he urged his horse faster until the blonde was within reach and leaning forward took a swipe at the blonde's jaw, being instantly rewarded with a sickening crack.

Naruto stared at him incredulous holding his jaw for a brief moment before his smirk spread from ear to ear. He threw a well-aimed punch at Sasuke that threw the brunette off balance for a moment however didn't knock him off his horse as Naruto had hoped. Naruto cursed under his breath at the failure.

Indignant at having been both robbed and hit, Sasuke grabbed the weaponry attached to the horse's side and did his best imitation of archery. He didn't so much as scratch Naruto.

Naruto laughed at the attempt. "You've never held a bow in your life, have you?" Naruto made the move to grab his own bow and arrows however his hand froze. 'It doesn't seem fair to shoot at someone who can't shoot back.' He frowned at the realization and chose to merely throw another punch at Sasuke.

Prepared for this attack Sasuke bent, with easy grace, a seemingly impossible amount backward and evaded, before counter attacking with a punch of his own.

Caught up in a fantasy about how many ways Sasuke could bend Naruto failed to dodge the attack and was knocked of his horse.

Sasuke simpered smugly, "Give me back my comb, do-be."

"Hell no, teme." Naruto shot back. He remounted his horse which had stopped shortly after he'd fallen off and grabbed his bow and arrows. He no intention of hitting Sasuke, he just want Sasuke to fall off his horse when he dodged them. With that plan in mind, he started firing arrows at him rapidly.

In a display of just how lithe and sinuous he was Sasuke began to dodge Naruto's arrows, bending and twisting like a contortionist, but never once losing his balance.

"Damn it!" Naruto yelled. "I don't want to hurt you but you just won't fall!" Naruto knew that if Sasuke were actually going to fall off his horse trying to dodge his attacks he'd have to fire right at him. Hoping Sasuke would just fall he aimed and fired.

Sasuke stood perfectly still as the arrow flew toward him waiting until the thing was nearly in his chest before reaching out his hand and grabbing it, stopping it dead in it's path. "Give. Me. Back. My. Comb."

"No way," Naruto growled.

In a moment of frustration and insanity Sasuke fulfilled Naruto's desire all on his own…sort of. He jumped from his horse and out to Naruto's attempting to tackle the blonde to the ground (and mostly likely get them both trampled to death). Unfortunately in his state of rage Sasuke did not account for the weight difference and all his little stunt did was land him riding in Naruto's lap.

Naruto head butted Sasuke as hard as he could before they had time to re-adjust.

Sasuke may have been able to go punch for punch with Naruto, but the moron had a hard head and just like that Naruto found himself with a lapful of sweaty Uchiha.

Naruto stopped his horse and picked the Uchiha. He placed him down gently on the ground then he stared at him. 'I can't really just leave him here, can I? I mean it's one thing to kill him in self-dense but to just leave him to die… Then again I can't take him back. Tsunade would kill me…. Damn it!' Naruto picked the Uchiha up bridal-style and put him on the horse before riding back to camp.

* * *

><p>No one seemed to mind Naruto when he walked in with Sasuke in tow. They were all too busy rummaging through the Uchihas' luggage. So it wasn't until Naruto asked for rope to tie the Uchiha up that they realized what he'd done.<p>

"Naruto, you idiot! Did you kidnap Uchiha Sasuke?" Sakura screamed punching Naruto in the head.

"Ow!" Naruto rubbed the bump forming on his head. "I didn't kidnap anyone he followed me."

"Yeah!" Kiba screamed in agreement, "That little bastard kicked me off my horse. Good job Naruto," Kiba said clapping Naruto on the back, "Now we can show the little prick what's-what."

"Hell yeah we will! Little bastard made me fall off my horse, but first we should definitely tie him up. If he wakes up, he'll try to kill us I guarantee it." Naruto said taking some ropes from a pile of assorted stolen goods and using them to bind the brunette's hands together. "So what should we do with him?"

"I don't care what you two do just leave me out of it." Shikamaru murmured from the sidelines.

Kiba shrugged, "I hadn't really gotten that far in…"

"We could take him back to Naruto's tent, undress him, and…What?" Sakura glared down the three men sending her disbelieving looks, "I'm just suggesting we search him is all."

"Just deal with him when he wakes up." Shikamaru said. "Did you find anything worth value?"

"No, not really. Oh, but I did get teme's comb." Naruto pulled the comb out of his pocket. "That's what he chased me down for."

"Nobody cares about a comb." Sakura said. "Maybe it's not something tangible. Maybe it's information."

"Maybe it's the Uchiha." Shikamaru said. "They were going to Sound to visit Orochimaru, right? Maybe the Uchiha is precious to him."

"Ew! No fucking way! Orochimaru is like three times older than him!" Naruto held three fingers up in Shikamaru's face to emphasize his point.

Shikamaru shoved Naruto's hand out of his face. "It's just a theory."

Kiba looked contemplative, "He may have something there, blondie. Didn't Tsunade mention that was Orochimaru supposed to get married sometime this month? We never did find out who his bride to be was. I'd say Uchiha here's as good a candidate as any."

"No way in hell!" Naruto growled. "That's sick. We'll just ask teme." Naruto poured his cantina over Sasuke's face. "Hey, teme, wake up. We've gotta a question for you."

Sasuke shot up, or at least he tried, the restraints threw him slightly off guard sending tumbling back down. "W-What…What's," Sasuke sputtered mindlessly looking around confused before he caught sight of Naruto. His eyes narrowing and his voice darken-doing his best to sound intimidating in his breathless and dehydrated state-he growled, "Give me my comb."

"First answer my question. You aren't Orochimaru's fiancé, are you?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke just spat in Naruto's direction.

"Face it, Kyuubi." Shikamaru said hoping calling Naruto Kyuubi would remind him not to use real names in front of Sasuke. "He's Orochimaru's fiancé. I guess mission accomplished but we can't keep him here. It might be best to let Scarecrow take him home."

"No, I'm not going to accept it until teme says so for himself." Naruto protested. "Besides then he'd know who Scarecrow is."

While Shikamaru and Naruto debated Sasuke scrambled gracelessly to his feet taking the opportunity to charge Naruto, "Give me my comb." He screamed kicking him in the side as Kiba and Sakura-who were previously distracted with looting-rushed to restrain him.

"Jesus, just give him the comb. This is a pain in ass." Shikamaru groaned.

"No! It's the principle! I'm not giving in!" Naruto yelled scrambling back to his feet.

"What are you even going to do with it?" Sakura asked. "You never brush your hair."

"It's the principle!" Naruto repeated.

"Little help guys." Kiba whined as Sasuke kicked and elbowed the man at every opportunity.

Naruto pushed Sasuke to the ground and pinned him. "Teme, calm down. Do you want an entire rebel camp trying to kill you? At the moment, we're trying to figure out a way you can go home, but we can't send you home until you tell us everything we need to know and we know you won't tell a soul about us, got it?"

Sasuke spat at Naruto once again, "I don't give a fuck about you or your gaggle of petty thieves just give me back my fucking comb. I can take care of myself."

"You want us to just let you go in the middle of the desert? You're a pampered, rich kid that doesn't even comb his own hair, do you really think you'd survive?" Shikamaru put his two cents in. "If so, please be my guest."

"Hn." Despite himself Sasuke stuck his nose up in the haughty manner that had been bred into him.

"Oh just give 'im the comb and let him go." Kiba said, "Once he dies he'll be outta our hair."

"I'm not giving him back the comb!" Naruto protested.

"Can we at least leave him to die? This is getting annoying." Shikamaru said.

"We can't let him die." Sakura interjected, "Th-that's so cruel…and anyway his mother saw him ride after Naruto. It'll be traced back to us."

"I'm sure they'll find the dead body before they find us. We're relatively well hidden." Shikamaru countered.

"I don't think we should kill him. I never kill anyone who doesn't deserve it, that's my code." Naruto said.

"He tried to kill us. I think he deserves it." Shikamaru deadpanned.

Sasuke struggled harder against his bindings in futility for a moment longer until it became apparent even to him that he was going nowhere, "Fine keep the comb." He hissed (although he had every intention of getting his comb back), "Just let me go or do you want the entirety of Orochimaru's men out here looking for me?"

"He has a good point. We can't afford to have that many people searching the village. Maybe we should just send him back." Shikamaru said. "Let's wait to see what Slug Princess thinks."

Naruto glared down at Sasuke. "You really wanna go back to that creepy guy? He's not actually your fiancé, right?"

"Creepy. Hn. You're one to pass judgment after you ransacked my carriage and nearly gave my mother a stroke."

"Oh yeah," Naruto grinned sheepishly. "So that was her freaking out next to you. If we send you back, you'll have to apologize for me."

"I doubt she'll be very forgiving considering you've stolen more than one priceless heirloom, including that comb and my grandmother's wedding kimono."

"Oh," Naruto sat on Sasuke and scratched the back of his head. "I guess I didn't stop to think any of it had sentimental value. We'll send it back then."

"Why would we do that? These things are valuable." Shikamaru said.

"It's important to him and what're we really gonna do with it, nothing. It's just better to give it back." Naruto said.

"I was actually hoping to keep the kimono." Sakura muttered.

"That was my grandmother's and my mother's and it was supposed…You wouldn't fit in it anyway." Sasuke snapped.

"A-are you calling me fat?" Sakura screamed indignantly.

"I—," Sasuke began only to be cut off by the gruff woman who'd come up behind him, "What's going on over here?" She screamed.

"Yo, baa-chan!" Naruto grinned at her. "This is my stalker, Uchiha Sasuke."

Tsunade's mouth fell open for a moment, "What the hell did you do now brat?"

"I didn't do shit! _I_ was following the mission, but teme here got all pissed off when I took his comb and followed me!" Naruto protested.

"We think it might be best to just send him home. He's Orochimaru's fiancé and we don't want Orochimaru's searching the desert on top of his father's men." Shikamaru said.

Tsunade nodded in agreement, "We'll have Scarecrow take him back as soon as possible."

"I'm not going anywhere without my comb…or my kimono." Sasuke sent Sakura a scathing glare.

Sakura glared back at him. "I say we let him die."

"I'll take him back." Naruto offered. "I'll give him a ride and leave him outside the city walls of Sound. It's only a three-day ride and Kaa-chan would kill me if Scarecrow got found out 'cause I lead teme back here. But I won't give the comb back!"

"And just why should I trust you to do that, brat?" Tsunade said crossing her arms over her ample chest.

"Because I'm the only one here that doesn't wanna kill him and do you want to deal with Kaa-chan if Scarecrow gets found out. He can be scary when he's mad."

"Well it is your fault he's here in the first place." Tsunade sighed exasperated, "…Just don't do anything stupid, and I think you know what I mean…and give him his damn comb back." On that note Tsunade walked out of the tent.

"I'll give him the comb back when I think he deserves it back, bitch." Naruto grumbled. Naruto grinned down at Sasuke. "So we should leave as soon as possible. The less time Orochimaru's men search the better. I think at best we can leave tonight until then you can stay at my tent." Naruto stood and helped Sasuke up. "I'll cut your bindings when I think you won't try to kill me."

"I don't want to stay in your fucking tent. I don't need your help. Just let me go I'll make it back to Sound on my own."

Naruto frowned. "You don't know where you're going and you'd never make it all the way to Sound without any water."

"I'll manage."

"You're such an ungrateful prick." Naruto growled. "Listen, you're coming back to my tent. I'm going to make us dinner and get everything ready for our trip then we're going to leave, got it?" Naruto didn't wait for Sasuke's response before leading him out of the tent and to his horse.

Sasuke thrashed about in Naruto's grip screaming indignantly the whole way.

* * *

><p>When they reached Naruto's tent, Naruto led Sasuke inside his tent. He walked out to go start their meal muttering about ungrateful pricks the whole way.<p>

Sasuke threw himself down on Naruto's makeshift bed-really a pile of pillow's and blankets-more infuriated than ever he planned his revenge. It was with this new resolve that Sasuke made his way out of Naruto's tent-hands still bond-he snuck around the great rock separating the two of them, grabbing a smaller rock on his way. He crept up behind Naruto and bam! Whacked him straight in the back of the head with the rock, knocking him to the ground.

With Naruto unconscious Sasuke ran away from the camp like his life depended onto, not bothering with his bond hands until he felt he was a safe distance away. Unfortunately for Sasuke once he was a 'safe' distance away he couldn't for the life of him find anything to cut the bindings on his wrists. In fact he couldn't find anything. He was as hopelessly lost as Naruto had predicted…not that he'd admit that.

He looked up toward the sky, the sunset in the west and Sound was to the north so if he just kept walking south…it was roughly an hour later that Sasuke passed out, falling like a lead weight to the desert floor.

* * *

><p>Naruto was not amused when he woke up roughly three hours later. His first reaction was to let the Uchiha die out in the desert if that was what he really wanted but this nagging voice in the back of Naruto's head told him he couldn't let the Uchiha die just yet so an angry Naruto packed six days worth of rations for the two of them and headed out to look for Sasuke and take him back to Sound.<p>

It was only a half an hour later Naruto found the brunette passed out. He allowed himself a smirk at being right before pouring water in his mouth.

Sasuke coughed, his eyes shooting open with surprise at being greeted with the sight of Naruto looming over him with a cantina. "What're you doing?" Sasuke asked pushing the cantina away from his mouth despite being desperately thirsty.

"I'm saving your ass." Naruto said throwing the cantina over to Sasuke so he could finish drinking himself before rummaging through his pockets. After he'd completed the search through apparently very deep pockets, he held the comb out to Sasuke. "Here, it's a peace offering. I've got your kimono too. Just come back to Sound with me and then I promise I'll leave you and your family alone."

Sasuke halted his greedy drinking to look stunned at Naruto. The moment was fleeting and silent, however, as Sasuke chose to do little more than nod in acknowledgment.

Naruto grinned. "Great!" He took one of Sasuke's hands and wrapped it around the comb. "We're finally getting somewhere! C'mon, let's get on the horse." Naruto stood offering Sasuke a hand up.

"Would you mind untying me dobe?" Sasuke said taking Naruto's hand, "It's becoming inconvenient."

"Promise not to attack me?" Naruto asked already working on untying him.

"Promise not to take me back to Sound?"

Naruto stopped his work on Sasuke's bindings to look up at him confused. "I thought you wanted to go back to Sound."

Sasuke smirked bitterly, "That's exactly what I want to go to Sound and become a breeder to a man three times my age."

"I knew no one would want to marry a creep like him!" Naruto said as he finished untying Sasuke. "Alright, we don't have to go to Sound. You can stay with me."

"Hn." Sasuke snorted mockingly, " You really are a dobe. Do you have any idea what kind of risk you'd be taking by keeping me with you? …No, just take me to Wave. I can handle myself from there."

"No way, teme. A pampered pretty boy like you would last five seconds in Wave. Trust me I know the rebels out that way, they'll kill you for looking at 'em funny and you're Uchiha Sasuke. They'd never let you get away. Stay with me. If it wasn't okay, I wouldn't have offered."

"And what about your teammates? What will they think?"

"I told you Sasuke, if it wasn't okay I wouldn't offer." Naruto said more sternly this time. "But you may have to work on your relationship with Sakura-chan after calling her fat."

"She tried to steal my kimono," Sasuke muttered crossly.

"Fine dobe I just have one more question."

"What's that?" Naruto asked.

"What's your name?"

Naruto gave Sasuke a foxy grin and held his hand out for Sasuke to shake, "Uzumaki Naruto at your service."

"Hn. Fishcake," Sasuke grinned smugly before taking Naruto's hand, "It suits you. Almost as well as dobe."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, you ungrateful prick?" Naruto acted scandalized but the smile hadn't left his face.

"Nothing dobe, c'mon if we don't hurry you won't have time to draw me a bath before dark." Sasuke said walking over to Naruto's horse.

"Who said I was drawing you a bath?" Naruto asked as he jumped onto the horse and kicked it into a gallop.

Sasuke looked at him as if he'd spoken in tongues. Blinking twice and snapping his mouth shut Sasuke managed out a simple, "Well I can't go to bed like this. I have sand in my hair."

"What's your point? I go to bed with sand in my hair all the time. This _is_ the desert."

Sasuke opened and closed his mouth like a fish, "You can't be serious. You honestly expect me to go to bed this filthy. I can barely function."

"You're kidding, right?"

There was an awkward moment of staring before Sasuke burst out with, "The hell I am!"

Naruto laughed hysterically for a good five minutes before he calmed down enough to say, "Alright, I'll draw a bath for the princess."

"Hmph," Sasuke huffed, "Don't call me princess dobe."

"But that's exactly what you act like a pampered little princess."

Sasuke glared daggers at Naruto before punching him in the chest, "I'm not a woman, usuratonkachi."

"No, but you're just as cute as a princess should be."

Sasuke fought to keep down a blush (a battle which he lost), "Just shut up and get us back to camp dobe."

Naruto snickered as they reached his tent. "May I help you down princess?" He smirked offering him a hand.

Sasuke glared refusing to take the offered hand. He slid off the side of the horse bracing himself a bit too hard on the saddle causing him to fall forward into the side of the horse.

Naruto snickered under his breath. "That wouldn't have happened if you'd let me help you, princess."

"Shouldn't you be drawing my bath?" Sasuke seethed pushing his way past Naruto toward the tent.

"I'm going, I'm going." Naruto held his hands up in surrender as he walked off to draw Sasuke's bath.

* * *

><p>Kakashi watched skeptically as Naruto carried two large buckets of water back to his tent. He'd come back to camp to warn the rebels of the search for Sasuke and also to offer to take him home if by some chance he had made it there, but as soon as he'd arrived Tsunade had told him that Naruto had already left to return the Uchiha. Which was why it was especially suspicious to see Naruto walking around camp, and just what the hell was all that water for.<p>

"Naruto, what exactly are you doing with all that water?" Kakashi quirked an eyebrow.

Naruto froze before turning to look at Kakashi wondering exactly how much he knew. "Oh yeah, it's for a bath. I figured it'd been a while since I last took one so might as well, right?"

"And since when does it occur to you to bath?" Kakashi decided to play it close to the vest to see just how much he could get out of Naruto.

"Are you implying I don't bath? That's simply unsanitary! I'm so insulted I don't think I can stand to be in your presence! Good day to you sir!" Naruto started to walk off in a fake huff.

"Yeah you'd better hurry back. Sasuke gets rather bitchy when he hasn't had his bath."

"Yeah, he did seem like the type that would—I mean, shit! Don't tell Baa-chan! She'd kill me!"

"You can't keep him here Naruto. You're putting the whole camp at risk. You have to take him to Sound before Orochimaru's men come looking for him."

"But he doesn't want to marry that creep. I'm not taking him back there so he can spend the rest of his life in a terrible marriage."

"That's really not for you to decide Naruto." Kakashi said grimly, "Now take him back before you put us all in danger."

"I won't take him back! And I can't believe everyone else is just so ready to send him to a place where he'll never be happy!" Naruto yelled as he continued his trip back to his camp. "Fuck you guys. I don't care if you do tell Baa-chan but I won't let you send him back."

Kakashi sighed exasperated, "This won't end well."

* * *

><p>"Took you long enough dobe," Sasuke said as Naruto re-entered his tent.<p>

"How would you know how long it takes to draw a bath? You've never had to! For all you know I was fast!" Naruto protested opting not to tell him about his discussion with Kakashi.

"How do you know I've never drawn a bath before?" Sasuke countered, "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. You're the one who insisted I stay with you."

"I didn't insist on becoming your servant. And you should be grateful I didn't take you to Wave. You think Zabuza would've put up with this shit after he caught you! Hell no!"

"Hn. It's not servitude dobe. It's hospitality, even a crude ape like you should know the difference."

"Ape?" Naruto's jaw hit the floor before an idea came to him. He smirked conspiratorially, "Maybe I'll just use this water to take a bath and you can get your own bath water."

It was now Sasuke's jaw that hit the floor, "Why would you bother bathing at this point? It's quite an accomplishment to get a layer of dirt so thick it actually changes your skin tone."

"Hey! Fuck you! I'm naturally this tan! I'll just have to prove it by taking a bath."

"If you want to take a bath you'll just have to use my old water because there's no way in hell I'm going another minute without a bath."

"We could always take a bath together."

"You…we…" Sasuke sputtered, "This conversation is over." With that Sasuke began to hastily undress, turning his back to Naruto.

Naruto had no problems facing Sasuke's backside. In fact he was rather enjoying it at the moment but he stared a little too long and a little too hard.

Sasuke looked over his shoulder at Naruto, "Enjoying yourself dobe?" He said raising an elegant brow.

"Very much so." Naruto said showing absolutely no shame.

Sasuke blushed flinging his head back around, "There are whores with more shame than you, do you realize that?"

"I can't help it. This is how I was raised and we really don't get many people worth ogling around here and the people worth ogling punch. Hard. But you are most definitely worth ogling!" Naruto smirked.

Sasuke walked over dipping his feet into the water hesitantly before completely submerging himself, "Hn."

"How disappointing, you didn't blush. That's too bad you're so cute when you blush."

This time Sasuke did blush lowering himself deeper into the water until his cheeks where hidden. "Do you speak so familiarly to everyone?"

"Of course." Naruto blinked. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"You really are a dobe," The words burbled up from the water as Sasuke concealed himself beneath the water.

Naruto just snickered at the flustered Uchiha. "I don't know why you're taking a bath. You're just going to get more sand in you're hair when you sleep on the floor."

"The floor! I'm not sleeping on the floor." Sasuke protested spinning around in the tub to face Naruto.

"Well, I'm not giving up my bed! We'll just have to share."

"You can't honestly expect me to share a bed after all you've said."

"Don't worry I won't touch you…unless you want me to."

"I'd rather go back to Orochimaru." Sasuke said flatly, "Now where's my towel."

"Ouch. And here I thought you would've had this great chivalrous image of me." Naruto said disappointedly before throwing Sasuke a towel.

"I hardly think staring at my ass is conducive to chivalry." Sasuke stood from the tub and wrapped himself in the before a regretful look passed his features, "What am I going to wear?" He thought aloud.

"You can burrow some of my stuff." Naruto offered already going to search through his drawers.

"Is it clean?" Sasuke did nothing to hide his disgust.

"Yes, it's clean, teme." Naruto groaned throwing some clothes over to Sasuke.

Sasuke grunted something that sounded vaguely like thank you before proceeding to dress. "So when's dinner?" Sasuke asked, the hunger and exhaustion from running through the desert starting to set in.

"Oh, I guess I'll go start it but be warned it won't be the most delicious thing you've ever eaten." Naruto said as he walked out of the tent.

Sasuke followed Naruto out of the tent, "Wait you're cooking? Are you qualified to do that? Isn't there someone here that…"

Sasuke was cut off by Naruto's hysterical laughter. "Where-hahaha-exactly do you think-ahahhahaha-you are?" Naruto calmed down enough to stifle his laughter. "You don't have to be qualified to cook and no one else around here is gonna cook. Besides, no one is allowed to know you're here. But Scarecrow's probably already told Baa-chan."

Sasuke sat down to sulk beside Naruto as he cooked, "Shut up dobe, it's not outrageous to think that someone here has the job of cooking. I mean you must have duties or something."

"If you knew everyone at the camp better you'd understand why it's so outrageous to think that one of them would cook for so many people. In fact Shika won't even cook for himself. Whenever no one's heard from him in awhile we have to go make sure he hasn't starved."

"Well you should organize yourselves better." Sasuke remarked caustically, "No wonder I took you down so easily."

"You didn't take down anyone! I kicked your ass!" Naruto protested.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Whatever helps you sleep at night dobe."

"I totally did! I head butted you and you passed out!" Naruto yelled. "I won!"

"Hn, what kind of shinobi head butts someone? A real man would have taken me down with his bare hands."

"Are you saying I'm not a real man, you ungrateful little prick?"

"Well you certainly aren't man enough for me." Sasuke sneered.

"What does a pretty boy like you know about men? I'll show you masculine!" Naruto yelled as he jumped up to fight.

Sasuke ready himself in fighting stance, "I'll make you eat those words dobe."

"Now, now, children, that's enough fighting." Kakashi said as he approached them, walking into Naruto's home as if it were his own. "Sasuke, I think it's about time you came with me back to Sound."

"Damn it, I said I wouldn't let you take him." Naruto growled.

"What's going on dobe? Why is Kaka—Scarecrow!" Sasuke said in sudden realization. "You're working for the rebellion…" Sasuke grinned at what he assumed was divine intervention, "You know what _Scarecrow _I don't think I'll be going back to Sound. In fact I'm going to go to Wave and you're going to take me."

"Fine." Kakashi agreed. "Let's go before the others find out you're here."

Naruto's face dropped. "What? You're really going to take him?"

"Of course, I am. Having him here is just too great a risk." Kakashi said.

"Fine," Naruto growled. "But I'm coming. I don't trust you."

"Fine. Whatever you want." Kakashi said. "I suppose it's better you're not here."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** So glad you guys like the story! Thanks for the awesome comment and I'll update as soon as I can!

It was after their second day of traveling and despite the fact they'd only set up camp less than an hour Sasuke was already sound asleep. Naruto and Kakashi had sat themselves around the fire. "You're really gonna leave him in Wave?" Naruto asked.

"Of course not. We both know he wouldn't last five minutes out there. I'll take him to Wave but then I'm going back to his father and reporting that he's been spotted in Wave. They'll come and get him and he'll be taken home." Kakashi said.

"How can you do that to him?" Naruto yelled.

"It's for the best."

"…He could blackmail you. You shouldn't cross him." Naruto said using all of his wit.

"He wouldn't do that." Kakashi smiled. "He's all talk. He'll act like he's going to tell his father sure but when push comes to shove he wouldn't. He actually does like me. I did teach him martial arts after all."

"And you're still going to betray him like that?" Naruto growled.

"I've been betraying him since he could walk. At least this time it's in his best interest."

"You're a bastard."

Kakashi shrugged, "What other option do I have. We can't keep him at the camp and he'll die at Wave. Orochimaru will provide Sasuke with the kind of life he's become accustom to."

"He should have a say in what happens to him."

Kakashi quirked his eyebrow, "So he can run away to Wave and get himself killed. Sasuke's a sheltered boy, Naruto; he has little to no knowledge of the outside world coupled with a higher clan sense of entitlement and too much confidence. He won't last a minute in the real world."

Naruto remained silent and just glared at the fire.

* * *

><p>When Sasuke woke up Naruto and Kakashi were both still asleep. Reasonable enough as they had stayed up most of the night keeping watch for roaming burglars, but Sasuke wanted to get an early start. The soon they got to Wave, the sooner he got them out of his hair.<p>

He decided to start with waking Naruto as Kakashi still slightly intimidated him-though he'd never admit it out loud. Sasuke knelt beside Naruto and began to shake him awake, "Oi dobe, wake up."

"Nnnhh. Go away, teme." Naruto grumbled.

Sasuke shook harder, "Wake up moron."

Naruto snaked an arm around Sasuke's stomach and pulled him down to lay with him. "Go back to bed."

Sasuke squeaked despite his best efforts, "Dobe!" He screamed push away from Naruto's chest, "Let. Me. Go!" Sasuke pulled back his leg and kneed Naruto as hard as he could in the thigh.

"Ow!" Naruto yelled his eyes flying open. "What the hell Sasuke?"

Sasuke cleared his throat and raise his eyebrows looking pointedly down to the arm still around his waist.

"Oh," Naruto sat up letting go of Sasuke. "Sorry 'bout that. Man, what time is it?" He yawned. "I'm still tired."

"Roughly six," Sasuke replied opening the flap of the tent to examine the position of the sun.

"Jeez, why are you waking me up then? I didn't go to bed until three." Naruto whined.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Don't whine dobe. The sooner we get moving the sooner we can get to Wave."

Sasuke turned his back on Naruto and knelt beside Kakashi.

"Sasuke, going to Wave is something I wanted to talk to you about. Kakashi's not going to let you stay in Wave. After he drops you off there he's gonna go tell your family where you are."

"Then I'll tell them who he is," Sasuke response simply.

"You wouldn't really do that to him, would you? I mean he really is trying to help you out and you just don't strike me as the type to rat someone out like that."

"Why shouldn't I," Sasuke hissed defensively, "He's had no qualms about lying to me since I can remember. I don't owe him any favors."

"Guess you're not the person he thought you were but it's not gonna stop him from telling your father." Naruto said.

"Well then I guess I should thank you." Sasuke said standing, "Because now I'll be a step ahead of them." On that note Sasuke dashed from the tent and mounted Kakashi's horse heading whatever direction he thought Star was in.

"Shit." Out of all the directions he could have gone in he went in the direction of Suna? Suna was a far worse fate than his camp and everybody there was constantly in a bad mood. "Kakashi!" Naruto shook him.

"What is it, Naruto?" Kakashi groaned.

"Sasuke took your horse and he's headed toward Suna." Naruto warned.

"You told him, didn't you? Great… he should be there by the afternoon as long as he keeps riding straight. We'll just have to tell his parents he's in Suna. C'mon. Let's go back to camp."

"You're just going to leave him? Forget that!" Naruto jumped on his horse and rode off toward Suna and Kakashi was left standing in the middle of the desert completely horseless.

"Well, I suppose Suna is only a day and a half worth of walking…I'm going to kill them."

* * *

><p>It took Sasuke roughly half the day to ride into the nearest village, which he had to admit did not look like the Star he remembered. He rode to the nearest bar tying his horse up with the rest. He walked in through the door, doing his best to look as he had a purpose, and sat at the table nearest the door.<p>

"Hey," a man that looked to be 6'3" and 200 lbs of Satan glared at Sasuke. "You're at my table, pretty boy. Get lost!"

Sasuke looked coolly up at the man, measuring him with his easy, "I'll leave after I've finished." He said waving a barmaid over.

"Why you!" The man grabbed Sasuke and pinned him against the wall. "I've killed people for less!"

"Hn." Sasuke smirked and without a second thought sent the man flying with a high kick straight to the groin.

"Fuck!" The man yelled.

"He took down Kankuro." The bar was a buzz with the news.

"Excuse me." A monotone man approached Sasuke. "I don't very much appreciate people attacking my brother."

"One good turn deserves another." Sasuke said mimicking the man's monotone.

"If you hadn't taken such a cheap shot I'd let him handle you on his own but I guess I'll take you out since he's…incapacitated." Gaara took a fighting stance.

"Do you often fight his battles for him, and on that note does he often beat on people half his size? Better to pick a fight you're sure you won't lose." Sasuke smirked posing in a mirror image of Gaara's stance, "…well most of the time."

Gaara wasted no more time with chit-chat. With as much force as possible for such a small boy to muster, Gaara threw a punch at Sasuke immediately followed by a kick to the stomach.

The punch caught Sasuke off guard causing him to reel back a bit, but wasting no time on recovery Sasuke easily dodged Gaara's kick countering with his own to Gaara's chest.

Gaara was not fast enough to dodge the kick and recoiled. He lunged at Sasuke crashing them both into a sword wielding man who, in his best attempt to intimidate the ukes, held his sword over his head.

Unfortunately for the man it was not in Sasuke's nature to be intimidated by strangers and the only thing his actions accomplished was the stealing of his sword by one blue blooded brunette.

Sasuke unsheathed the sword and handle it menacingly at Gaara.

"Kankuro!" Gaara shouted holding his hand out. Within seconds a sword was thrown to him landing directly in the out stretched hand. He lunged for Sasuke again this time armed.

Sasuke didn't hold back in the least. He took every fencing lesson Itachi or Kakashi had ever given him and every book he'd ever read on the subject and put them to good use blocking Gaara's attack and responding with his own.

Gaara easily blocked Sasuke's attack. After all, Sasuke may have known the terminology better from all of his fancy books but Gaara had plenty of battle experience under his belt. Gaara swung his sword down on the Uchiha, a move Sasuke dodged with a back handspring.

Sasuke jumped up behind Gaara and swung for his neck, a fatal cut.

Gaara ducked narrowly avoiding Sasuke's blade. He brought his sword down on the Uchiha again but the Uchiha blocked with his own blade locking them in a battle of wills. One could cut the tension with a knife, but in this case it was Naruto's voice that cut the tension.

"What the hell is going on here?" Naruto yelled as he walked over to the battling bottoms.

"Na-Naruto?" Gaara said taken aback. "What are you doing in Suna?"

"I came to get teme here. I'm really sorry, Gaara. He didn't hurt anyone too bad, did he?"

"You're concerned about him." Sasuke snarled, his eyebrow twitching, "It was this overly made-up degenerate that came at me."

"You!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke. "I'm so pissed at you right now. I told you that because I thought you should have some form of control over what happened to you in your future but you take it and decide to go to one of the most dangerous villages you can? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I didn't think Star was so perilous," Sasuke mumbled.

"This is Suna! See, this is why you can't go off on your own! You don't even know where you're going to end up! Besides that you didn't even take any water! Star would have been a three day journey for you and you were completely unprepared!" Naruto yelled.

"That's not true." Sasuke said casually, "I had water in the Satchel on Kakashi's horse."

"I bet it wasn't enough!"

"Naruto, calm down. Why on earth are you traveling with this cretin anyway?" Gaara asked.

"He followed me back to my camp. I was supposed to take him back to Sound but then I couldn't so Kakashi was going to take him to Wave and everything is kinda fucked up." Naruto answered.

"I see. Who is he?"

"Uchiha Sasuke." Naruto said casually.

Gaara glared at him. "I always expected someone from such a noble family to have more class."

"And what do you know of class," Sasuke jeered sick of being talked about as if he weren't present.

Before Gaara could retort Naruto said, "C'mon Sasuke, we've gotta find a place to stay until Kakashi catches up with us. He's still a day away on foot."

"You can stay at our place." Gaara offered.

"Really? Thanks Gaara! I didn't really bring any money so you totally just saved my ass!" Naruto punched the air.

Sasuke walked silently out of the bar.

Naruto ran out after Sasuke, "Where are you going?"

"To find somewhere to stay, I certainly don't want to be around when Kakashi catches up and besides I wouldn't want to interrupt you and your boyfriend."

"You can't stay by yourself, teme. You don't have any money for a hotel and what about all the freaks out there!" Naruto protested.

Sasuke turned on Naruto, "Just what the hell do you care anyway dobe? I'm not at your camp anymore. I'm not your problem…And I won't apologize for any grief I may have caused you either! It was you who stole my comb and you who refused to leave me once you'd given it back.

"In fact really you're my problem! You should apologize to me." Sasuke looked at Naruto expectantly at this.

"Apologize to you? For what? I'll admit it wasn't right to steal your fucking comb but I didn't force you to follow me out into the desert to get it back! I think you should thank me! I took you back to my camp instead of leaving you for dead! I attempt to make you dinner and you knock me out and I still brought you back to camp! I risked my whole fucking rebellion group by keeping you there just because you didn't want to go to Sound. I drew your bath and you fought with me!

"You know what! You're just a brat! A spoiled brat that doesn't appreciate when someone is going out of their way to help you! No matter what I say I know I'm not going to get through to you so why am I wasting my breath? I'm going to stay with my friend! You do whatever you want." Naruto marched back into the bar.

Sasuke turned to walk the other way, but soon realized Naruto did have a fair point, well at least about one thing. He was broke and without cash he wouldn't be getting a hotel room anytime soon, but he couldn't go back to Naruto and admit he was right, especially after he'd called him a spoiled brat.

So Sasuke did the only thing he could think of, he used the nimble dexterity years of calligraphy had given him and the charm years of etiquette training had given him and picked the pocket of the richest looking man he saw.

"Oh excuse me," Sasuke said smiling graciously after purposefully bumping into the man. "I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm a bit lost."

The man coldly ignored Sasuke walking right past him.

Sasuke glared feeling foolish for going out of his way for someone who was clearly little more than a Neanderthal. It didn't matter much, however, as Sasuke already had the man's wallet. Now all he had to do was find a hotel.

He walked aimlessly down the strip of road looking for somewhere to stay, but finding nowhere he deemed worthy. It was at sundown that he realized he was hopelessly lost in the red light district of Suna.

"How much?" A man asked approaching Sasuke from behind.

Sasuke didn't bother to answer simply flipping the man over his shoulder for his audacity.

"What the fuck? Oh I get it. You're not a hooker. That's disappointing." The man frowned not making the move to get up.

Sasuke scowled, "Fuck off."

"I was trying to fuck you. See, I'm not exactly from around from around here so I just thought Suna had really good-looking hookers. Or is it just a cultural thing that it's insulting to ask?"

"Just shut up," Sasuke said for the first time turning to regard the man, "…If you aren't from around here then where are you from?"

"Mist." The man jumped up from his spot on the ground. "I was actually supposed to meet someone here…Are you her? I know they said she was masculine but you can't actually be a girl. Let's check." Suigetsu grabbed Sasuke's pants aiming to pull them down only to get punched in the nose.

"I'm not a woman you idiot!"

"I was just kidding!" Suigetsu grinned pulling his hand back.

"Don't touch me you pig!" They heard a girl yell as she kicked a man in the balls. She started walk over to Sasuke and Suigetsu. "Honestly this is why I hate men. You're Suigetsu, right? Let's go." Tayuya said to Sasuke ignoring the cowering Suigetsu protecting his balls.

"Actually, he's Suigetsu," Sasuke said pointing to the cowering man, "I'm the psuedo whore he tried to pick up."

"Great, another one. Why is it they always send me to pick up the perverts?" Tayuya questioned looking up at the sky. "Sorry, about that…Wait a minute, aren't you Uchiha Sasuke?"

"No way Uchiha Sasuke is a whore in Suna?" Suigetsu yelled.

"I'm not a fucking whore!"

"But you are Uchiha Sasuke. I know. I've seen Orochimaru's portraits and his sculptures. Perfect, I can kill two birds with one stone. Let's go." Tayuya grabbed Sasuke's arm. "I'm sick of that insufferable pervert's whining about…you'll find out on your wedding night."

In a lapse of sanity Sasuke turned to Suigetsu engaging him in a deep kiss, "Don't let her take me baby. I can't leave you."

"This is exactly like my dreams." Suigetsu said grabbing Sasuke's wrist and dragging him away from Tayuya. "Sorry, Tayu-chan. Gotta run."

"You moron! You're supposed to be staying with us! Where the hell are you going? I'm going to kill Gaara for this!" Tayuya yelled chasing after them with a speed the rehead could only achieve when truly enraged.

* * *

><p>"That's it! Next time you want to confer with Mist I'm not going to pick up that idiot!" Tayuya yelled as she marched in to the tent and plopped down to sit at the table with the other rebels. "You wouldn't believe what happened this time! It was worse than the time he got drunk before I got there and tried to seduce you." She said to Gaara. "He met up with Uchiha Sasuke who he had apparently mistaken for a whore and when I tried to take them both back here, Suigetsu got a lot more attractive to Uchiha-sama and they ran off together! Fucking ridiculous!"<p>

Naruto's jaw hit the floor. "He ran off with _him_! He was supposed to come running back to me! Oh, fuck!"

"Well, at least he didn't leave you horseless in the middle of nowhere, now did he?" Kakashi smiled at Naruto maliciously and the whole camp could feel the "I will kill you for that" vibe Kakashi was giving off.

"Well we have to go get him back! I mean Suigetsu may not be the worst of fates but he can still be dangerous!" Naruto protested.

"I don't see why we should help him. In fact I think we should just see how well he fairs on his own. After all, it seems he has no qualms leaving others to the same fate." Gaara said.

Temari sighed, "We should save him because if we leave the two of them alone much longer they might mange to procreate and I don't think anyone here wants that."

Naruto turned pale at the idea.

Kakashi nodded in agreement. "Of course we should go save him, how can I extract my revenge on him for leaving me in the desert if he's off screwing Suigetsu."

"You guys can go without me. I've had my fill of horny moron for the day, thank you very much." Tayuya glared.

* * *

><p>"Get off me." Sasuke pushed off the slightly larger Mist nin's chest, attempting to extract the hundred and sixty pound leech from his body, "I swear if you don't give me at least six inches I'll slit you from nose to navel."<p>

Suigetsu held on tighter. "Is this some kind of kinky thing you're into? Okay, I'm down. The safety word is biscuit."

"Safe word? What the hell are you talking about?" Sasuke began to thrash wildly, "Just get the fuck off of me, you're…poking my thigh!" Sasuke pressed himself against the headboard, "Are you…?"

"It's so cute when you act naïve. Hold on a second….you're not a…" Suigetsu stopped mid sentence as if saying the word was a sin. After a few moments he smirked, "You know what, that's cool. It might be fun to teach you a few things and I don't mind popping a cherry here and there." Suigetsu straddled Sasuke.

Sasuke's eyes widened in disbelief, in a moment of panic Sasuke grabbed the first available weapon-which unfortunately for him was an oil lamp. Knocking Suigetsu upside the head he screamed, "If you don't get off me right now I'll slit your throat without a second thought."

"Okay! Okay! Biscuit!" Suigetsu yelled holding his head. "But we can still fuck, right? I'll be gentle on the first-timer."

"Are you fucking den-!" Sasuke began to scream, but it was long before a whole day of fight on an empty stomach and the room began to spin around him. Grabbing his head Sasuke fell back on the bed.

Suigetsu straddled him once again. "I knew you wanted it." Suigetsu slammed his lips against Sasuke in a hard, sloppy kiss.

That was when the door opened revealing a _very_ angry Naruto. "Suigetsu," he growled running over to Suigetsu. He took Suigetsu by the shoulders and threw him into the wall. After pinning him against said wall, Naruto pulled his fist back to punch Suigetsu only to be stopped by Gaara's indifferent protesting.

"That's enough, Naruto. He learned his lesson. It's not a good idea to hurt comrades."

"Fine, but you leave Sasuke alone." Naruto warned Suigetsu.

"He wanted it!" Suigetsu yelled quickly receiving a punch for it.

Naruto walked over to the bed where Sasuke lay and crouched down so his chin was propped up on the bed, putting him at eye level with Sasuke. "You okay, teme? Not mentally scarred or anything, right?"

"Naruto," Sasuke groaned, "I'm sorry." He mumbled groggily.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have called you a spoiled brat or let you go off on your own like that. Why don't you come back to Gaara's with me and I promise I won't let them take you to Sound."

"Mmm, okay," He mumbled making no effort to rise from the bed.

"You're not gonna walk, are you?" Naruto chuckled before picking Sasuke up bridal-style.

"Let's just go." Gaara ground out more than a little upset that when he had been injured in battle Naruto had rather painfully thrown Gaara over his shoulder but Uchiha was too lazy to walk and he got carried gently. Fucking Uchiha.

"Oh man, I didn't get laid and now I've gotta put up with the bandana girl after pissing her off so much." Suigetsu groaned.

* * *

><p>Kakashi glared at Sasuke's sleeping form. He'd wanted to get his revenge but he couldn't take it out on a sleeping man and <em>he<em> certainly wasn't stupid enough to wake him up but he could always get it later. There were more pressing issues to address. "What are we going to do with him?" He asked Naruto as they finally arrived at Gaara's camp.

"We can't make him go back." Naruto said quickly turning a glare on Kakashi as a thought hit him. "And we won't sell him out. Let's hear what he has to say when he wakes up. I won't let him go off on his own but I don't think he'll be too keen on the idea anymore."

"We have to take him back to Sound, Naruto. He clearly has no idea how to survive in the real world. He's become accustomed to being pampered."

"We'll figure it out after we hear what he wants!" Naruto persisted.

"Don't be stupid Naruto," Tayuya scoffed, "This kid has already been more trouble than he's worth. We've wasted valuable time and resources chasing his spoiled ass around. We have to take him back."

"And what an ass it is." Suigetsu mused.

"Don't you guys care about how other people feel? What if you were in his position? About to be married to a total pedophile you don't even like!" Naruto yelled.

"There are worse things." Temari said.

"Like what?" Naruto yelled.

"Like an entire underground rebellion group being found and hanged to death because you took pity on a stranger." Kakashi said. "I care about what happens to Sasuke too but it's the lesser of two evils."

As if on cue Sasuke rose from the pile of blanket he was lying on. He looked around the room as if in a daze, "What's going on?"

"Nothing, teme. Go back to sleep." Naruto said his blood clearly still boiling from his fight with Kakashi.

"Why don't we take this opportunity to find out what Sasuke wants? Where do you want to go now?" Kakashi asked Sasuke.

"I-I'll go home." Sasuke said

"What? Teme, why would you do that? You'll have to marry Orochimaru!" Naruto yelled.

"I'm sorry Kakashi. I didn't mean to cause so much trouble for you or for my family. Once I was gone I just…I'll go back."

Kakashi nodded. "We'll leave tomorrow."

"Teme, you don't have to go back just 'cause Suigetsu got a little frisky with you. I promise not every commoner you come in contact with will try to screw you." Naruto said.

"That's not it dobe," Sasuke smirked bitterly.

"Is this 'cause Gaara tried to kill you? 'Cause that doesn't happen often either." Naruto asked.

"He deserved it." Gaara muttered.

"Kakashi's right, Naruto. No matter where I go they'll find me. I'm just prolonging the inevitable and causing you grief. I might as well go home." Sasuke said disheartened.

"You're not causing me grief!" Naruto protested. "You don't have to go home. We'll have Kakashi say he saw you in Wave and Tayuya say she saw you in Suna we'll have them looking everywhere except the right place!"

"Don't jump the gun," Tayuya said, "Neither Kakashi nor I have agreed to this plan."

"C'mon, it's a good plan!" Naruto yelled.

"No. I have to go pack up the horse Sound is five days away." Kakashi said walking out of the room.

"Damn it!" Naruto yelled.

"This isn't your choice. It's Uchiha's and he made it." Gaara tried to comfort him but sounded all too happy.

* * *

><p>Sasuke waited for everyone to go to sleep before making his way to Naruto's makeshift bed, "Oi dobe," He whispered harshly shaking him awake, "Dobe."<p>

Naruto opened his eyes slowly. "Teme? What's wrong?"

"Shh," Sasuke hushed pressing a finger against his lips, "C'mon, while everyone's still asleep." Sasuke stood from his spot beside Naruto's bed motioning for him to follow.

Naruto followed Sasuke. "Where are we going?" He whispered.

Sasuke stopped, "I don't know. Star, maybe."

"What?" Naruto yelled before going back to a hushed voice. "But I thought you were going home. Are you telling me that was all just an act? You scared the shit out of me! I thought you were really going to marry him!"

"I just…I just need six months." Sasuke whispered aggravated, jumping on Kakashi's horse for the second time that day, "I can't let the only man I ever have sex with be Orochimaru."

"So we're on a mission to get you laid?" Naruto frowned jumping on his own horse. "I don't like it but I guess I can't let you go by yourself."

"I didn't say that," Sasuke scoffed, "That's just one on a list of many things…which way is Star?"

"South." Naruto answered wondering about what else was on Sasuke's list.

Sasuke turned his horse southward and gave it a kick to start, "Oi dobe, how far to Star?"

"Not too far. Maybe two days or a day and a half." Naruto said following Sasuke's lead.

Sasuke nodded, "Do you have any money? I spent most of mine on the hotel with Suigetsu."

"Not much. I didn't think that a simple trip to Wave would get so outta hand, but you wanna stay there for six months, right?"

"I'll need new clothes. Something to cover my hair, I'll be too easily recognized like this."

"Seeing as we're gonna be there for a while, I'll just get a job there. This is kinda exciting actually! I've been living at a rebel camp since I was born. I can't wait to see how normal people live." Naruto grinned.

Sasuke smirked, "Me either."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Sorry about how long it took to update! My laptop broke down and I love this fic, but collectively it runs about 80 pages and I was not re-writing that. So double update in celebration of the fact that I didn't have to!

Star was one of the few places were Naruto knew absolutely no one which might explain why he felt so awkward. Usually Naruto could ride into a village and mooch of his friends for a bit but not this time but Naruto could deal with that much. He was a people person and Sasuke quickly came to that realization when Naruto jumped off his horse to talk to some citizens. "Hey there!" He grinned at the group. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto. Me and my wife just got here and we kinda need a place to crash, could you give us directions."

The group seemed taken aback at Naruto forwardness. "Umm…well, there's a hotel around that corner." A man pointed.

"Oh, there's a place for rent about two left turns that way," the girl next to him pointed.

"Really? Thanks!" He ran back to Sasuke and remounted his horse. "There's a place for rent over there and a hotel over there."

"Well which are we going to?" Sasuke asked, "And how are we going to pay? We need to change too. It won't be long before Kakashi catches up to us. In these clothes we're too conspicuous. We need to dress more like the locals."

"Well, this would be a lot easier if you'd picked somewhere I knew someone. For now, let's just go to the hotel. There should be a little bit of money on Kakashi's horse." Naruto said steering his horse in the direction of the hotel.

Sasuke guided his horse behind Naruto's toward the hotel, dismounting when they'd arrived. He followed Naruto into the establishment looking around in distaste, "This place is filthy." Sasuke scoffed.

"Huh? You think so? I thought it was pretty nice." Naruto shrugged. "Anyway, it's the only place we know about. Tomorrow, I'll start looking for a job after I get hired we can stay somewhere better."

"Fine," Sasuke nodded

Naruto walked over to the man at the desk. He put some of Kakashi's money on the counter. "Yo, we need a room."

"Oh, newly weds, eh?" The man smirked.

Naruto nodded laughing.

"Here you go." He gave Naruto a key.

Naruto smiled at him before holding the key up for Sasuke's examination. "Let's go to our room, teme."

Sasuke knocked Naruto's hand out of his face before proceeding to their room, "There's only one bed in here." Sasuke said breathlessly as he inspected the room.

"Oh, the guy thinks we're newly weds so that makes sense. Let's share it. I promise not to touch you…unless you want me to. In which case, I'll—"

A hard punch to Naruto's gut shut him up, "Don't count on it dobe."

"Ow! Domestic abuse! Is that anyway to treat your husband?" Naruto snickered.

"I didn't run away from one husband to get another." Sasuke said throwing himself on the bed, "So…How do…I mean I'm hungry. When does lunch get here?"

"No, wait what were you going to ask?"

"Nothing." Sasuke's kept his voice steady, but the pink tint of his cheeks gave him away.

"No, c'mon what was it? I promise not to laugh."

"Nothing dobe, shouldn't you be looking for a job? Just what skills do you have anyway?"

"Hey, I can do just about anything. I fight, and make edible things, and I'm a people person. But if you don't tell me what you were gonna say I'll make you get a job." Naruto threatened.

"Fine," Sasuke said crossing his arms over his chest smugly, "I'll get a job."

"What? You weren't really supposed to get a job you're pampered. You're supposed to dread the idea so much that you tell. Let's redo this. Tell me or I'll make you get a job."

"You don't think I could get a job, dobe?" Sasuke said quirking his eyebrow.

"I'm sure you could get a job. I just don't think you could keep it. You've never had to work before." Naruto said lying down on the bed next to Sasuke. "It's fine. You just stay home and let the man provide."

Sasuke threw a pillow at Naruto, "You're not going to provide much standing around usuratonkachi."

"Such a violent wife," Naruto pouted. "Fine, I'm going." Naruto got up walking towards the door.

"No goodbye kiss for your wife dobe," Sasuke teased.

"If you insist." Naruto ran back over giving Sasuke a peck on the cheek before continuing to walk out the door. "Bye, honey!"

"That was a joke." Sasuke said rubbed his cheek where Naruto had kissed.

* * *

><p>Kakashi had woken up extra early despite the fact that he was still very tired from walking to Suna after only three hours worth of sleep. He wanted to get Sasuke out of Suna as soon as possible so he could go home to Iruka that is if Iruka hadn't had a heart attack after Kakashi had left with absolutely no warning. He also wanted to get Sasuke on the road before Naruto woke up lest he relive that fight.<p>

He walked into the tent Sasuke had been sleeping in and shook a group of pillows arranged to look like a body. Kakashi came to the realization all too fast and immediately went out to see is horse was still there. Not to his surprise, it wasn't. Neither was Naruto's. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. Kakashi was going to make Sasuke walk back to Sound and Naruto…well, he'd leave Naruto to Tsunade, Iruka, and the lot. Mwahahahahahahaha!

Without even realizing it, Kakashi actually laughed maniacally, something that happened when he was very aggravated little did he know Suigetsu was awake in the background.

"Fuck. The. What." Suigetsu said terrified.

Tayuya and Temari ran out of there in a panic, "What's going on? Where are the horses?" Tayuya asked looking frantically around.

Temari already having caught on screamed, "Fuckin' A, does this mean we've gotta track down that Uchiha bitch again?

"Goddamn men," She grumbled in reference to Naruto, "They'll do anything for a pretty face."

Kakashi, having finally calmed down enough to stifle his all too creepy laughter, said. "You think this is bad for you? I've been chasing them down for much longer most of the time on foot. I'm going to get him back and kick their asses….As soon as I find out where they are."

"They're not stupid enough to stay in Suna. Leaf and Sound are way out of the picture. That leaves Wave, Star, Mist," Tayuya counted on her fingers before just giving up, "A lot."

"Why didn't Sasuke take me?" Suigetsu asked.

"I wonder." Tayuya said flatly.

"Could it be that you confused him for a whore? Or maybe that you tried to molest him while he was unconscious? Or maybe, just maybe it's because you are essentially the most useless ninja in all existence." Temari said.

"No, I think it's probably that I stole his wallet." Suigetsu said looking through said wallet. "Hey, this isn't his at all! He has no reason to not take me!"

"You stole from him!" Temari screamed, "Never mind, this is a waste of time we need to figure out where they went? If I were a spoiled princess and Naruto where would I run off to?"

"Well Wave is out of the question. No one in their right mind would go there." Tayuya said.

"We should check Wave." Kakashi said. "It was actually the original destination. We can't exactly count on them staying in one place too long though."

"What's going on?" Gaara asked as he walked out. "Where's Naruto?"

"I'm not telling him." Suigetsu said immediately.

"Um…He…"Tayuya began tentatively.

"He ran off with Sasuke." Temari finished quickly.

In that second Gaara looked evil and everything about him showed a murderous intent. "Fucking Uchiha! Who the hell does he think he is? Naruto is supposed to be mine! Let's find the little prick!" Gaara yelled. "Everyone is going to split up to look for them! We will check every nook and cranny of every village in every country on every continent!"

"I think it'd be more effective if we only checked the places we think they might have gone to. We were considering starting with Wave." Temari said.

Gaara calmed down slipping back into his monotone. "Fine, we'll start with Wave, but I want them found quickly. Before the Uchiha slut has time to win Naruto over."

"We'll find them." Kakashi assured.

* * *

><p>Sasuke shook the heavily breathing lump, "Naruto! Naruto! Oi dobe, wake up! You have to go to work." Sasuke pushed Naruto's broad shoulder harder still eliciting no response he resorted to more drastic measures. He raised his foot above his head and kicked Naruto square in the nose. "Dobe for the love of God wake up!"<p>

Naruto covered his now bleeding nose. "What the fuck, Sasuke? What kind of wife beats his loving husband?"

"The kind who's husband's about to lose his job on the second day!" Sasuke put his hands on his hips taking a firm, superior stance.

"For better or for worse. For richer or for poorer. Just 'cause we need the money doesn't mean you can go all mega-bitch on me!" Naruto yelled getting out of bed and changing into his work clothes.

"Listen dobe we can't afford for you to lose this job. We have even less money than we thought. Turns out the Mist bastard stole my wallet." Sasuke hissed, "If you sleep us into the poor house I'll stop letting you grope me when you think I'm asleep."

"Okay, I'll go, but only if I get a goodbye kiss." Naruto grinned.

"Don't push it."

"C'mon!" Naruto whined. "Every guy gets a goodbye kiss! What kind of wife are you? You don't even appreciate all that work I'm about to do to provide for you!"

"Fine, fine I'll give you a kiss if you just stop whining." Sasuke leaned into Naruto pecking him on the cheek, "There, satisfied?"

"That's nowhere near enough to satisfy me but it's a good start. Bye, teme." Naruto called as he walked out the door.

"Bye dobe," Sasuke smiled as he closed the door behind his "husband." Once Naruto had left Sasuke dressed in the outfit he had lifted yesterday; they may not have had money for clothes, but Sasuke'd be damned if he'd wear the same out for three days in a row.

* * *

><p>Sasuke was eager to get out on the town. He'd never been out alone before and he was excited to see what "normal" people did all day. Walking around the first thing he noticed was a small teashop. He'd never been in one before as his mother abhorred any place she felt was below their breeding so naturally he was curious.<p>

Upon entering Sasuke saw many people sitting casually at small table taking and eating cakes while sipping tea. He found himself wondering whether Naruto had ever been in a place like this before. If not Sasuke thought he would bring him back. It seemed like something the dobe would like. Lots of food and people all in the same place.

Sasuke took a seat and waited for someone to bring him tea.

"C-Can I help you, s-sir?" The shy waitress stuttered out.

"Yes," Sasuke said decisively as if he had any idea what he was doing, "I would like some tea."

"Wh-what kind?"

Sasuke had actually never ordered his own tea. His father or brother always handled it, "Green." Sasuke said smugly as if he had just defeated an insurmountable obstacle.

"Ri-right away." The waitress left Sasuke only to return several minutes later with his tea. Placing it in front of Sasuke she asked, "I-I don't meant to pry, b-but are you new in town. I've never seen you before."

Sasuke was starting to wonder if coming to such a small town had been a good idea after all, "We just moved yesterday." Sasuke said casually hoping the girl would just drop the subject.

"Oh, so you moved here with someone else?"

"Yes."

"Th-the blond?"

"Yes, how do you know?" Sasuke asked, "Has he come in here?"

"He-he did. He came in and asked me what people do here. He seemed to be under the impression that they used our stoves and herbs to make the tea themselves. He was quite surprised when I told him, but you seem to know what a teashop is for. Where did you two come from?"

"Nowhere you would have heard of." Sasuke said hurriedly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me." The girl blushed and looked to the floor. "We've just never really had anyone move here before so I was curious. M-may I get you anything else?"

"No thank you."

She nodded and returned several minutes later with the bill.

"Thank you," Sasuke nodded scrunching his nose in concern when he realized he hadn't brought enough money to pay, "I'll just put it on a tab. Have the blond pay next time he comes in."

"Y-yes, sir. C-can I have his name?"

Sasuke was hesitant, should he really give Naruto's name to this girl. Then again Naruto had already introduced himself to what was likely half the villagers in such a small town, "Naruto."

"Alright." She wrote down the name. "If it's not prying, c-can I ask how you two know each other?"

"He's my husband." Sasuke blushed. It felt strange to say it out loud and he swore the girl looked a little disappointed.

"O-oh." She looked down sounding a little sad. "Then, good luck with your marriage. I'll be sure to tell Naruto-san to pay the tab when he comes to visit again."

"Do that," Sasuke said. He wasn't sure why, but he felt the strangest urge to shake the girl and scream that Naruto was his so she'd best back off or else. He, of course, didn't act on it though. He simply stood from his seat glide easily out the door.

* * *

><p>Hinata blushed as the tall blond approached the counter. "Oi, Hinata-chan, what's up?" He grinned. "So, I have a question. If we don't make our own tea how are we supposed to know if anyone spit in it 'cause when I was little and my friend was just learning how to make tea I told her it was awful and then she spit in it next time! I didn't even know 'til Kiba started laughing!"<p>

"U-um, I c-can assure you Naruto-san t-that no one here has any reason to spit in your tea." The girl blushed deeper and attempted to contain her laughter, "However, we can not s-serve you until you pay your outstanding balance."

"What're you talking about?" Naruto said clearly confused.

"Y-your wife came in this morning. He said t-to have you pay his bill next time you came in."

"Teme came in here? I didn't know he liked teashops…How come he knew what one was and I didn't? He coulda told me!" Naruto grumbled about how Sasuke wanted him to look stupid while pulling the money he'd just been paid out of his pocket. "Here ya go."

Hinata took the money. "I-If you don't mind m-my a-asking? H-How long h-have you two been married? Y-you…I-I mean…You just don't s-seem very close?"

"Oh, well, we've only been married a few days and I guess we really don't know each other very well, but I think we have really good chemistry! Besides, it'd be boring if we knew everything about each other. Then, we'd just be caught in the same day with each other over and over again. I never know when I'm gonna learn something about teme that'll make me like him even more. It's actually pretty cool!"

"O-oh, I thought maybe…N-never mind, h-have a nice day."

"Huh? What is it? You can tell me."

"I-I just thought maybe i-it was a shot-shotgun wedding…and if that's true it's wrong! You should marry for love n-no matter what the circumstances surrounding you are!"

"I think so too." Naruto grinned his famous toothy grin. "Sasuke and I, I guess it must seem like we're doing things a little out of order and we did kinda need to get married for a reason that wasn't really love, but I bet we will fall in love."

Hinata smiled, "I-I'm happy to hear it. Goodbye Naruto-san."

"Bye." Naruto wave over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

* * *

><p>"I didn't know you liked teashops." Naruto said to Sasuke as he walked in the door. "If you'd told me I woulda brought you by Hinata-chan's shop earlier."<p>

Sasuke shrugged, "It never came up…You're on a first name basis with the teashop girl, dobe." Despite his best efforts Sasuke's voice took on an edge of malice.

"I don't like formalities. I never called you 'Uchiha-san' you know. I like to be familiar with people and it's nice to have friends in such a small village, but that's all beside the point. We should know things about each other. We're married. So what else do you like?"

"Tomatoes, sushi, martial arts, things like that I guess. Why does it matter? Is there going to be a test?" Sasuke asked quirking a brow.

"No. Is it bad to want to know things about you? Like your interests and favorite foods and stories from your childhood?"

"We're not really married dobe. After this six months is up we'll probably never even see each other again."

Naruto frowned at Sasuke. "Don't think about it that way. Here's how I look at it: we've got a whole six months to get to know each other and have fun! Then even if we go our separate ways after our time is up, we won't think of it as a waste 'cause we'll be friends and we'll have memories of each other." Naruto scratched the back of his head, laughing. "Guess that's corny."

Sasuke smiled, "Yeah it is, but if it's really so important to you that we get to know each other I think you should start. Tell me dobe, what was it like growing up on a rebel camp?"

"It was really fun! My dad and I were always training. He was always really nice and patient. My mom was always smiling. There were a surprising amount of kids my age around. You remember 'em from when we first got to camp. We always played together.

"All the grown-ups pretty much kept us out of the rebellion 'til we were teenagers. So we didn't really know that we weren't getting a normal childhood 'til they explained to us what was going on when our parents left all the time after…there was an accident.

"I guess most people think that it would've been really terrible but I was raised by a lot of really great people and I had a lot of fun. I'm especially grateful to Kaa-chan. You didn't get to meet him but you can ask Kakashi about him sometime.

"I guess it wasn't that different from a normal kid. You're turn." Naruto smiled expectantly.

"Accident? What do you mean? What happened to your parents?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto's eyes seemed to change from the happy ones Sasuke had grown accustomed to to the eyes of a recently abandoned child, like he was reliving the deaths of his parents. He swallowed thickly as he began to tell his tale. "We thought that a family in Konoha had something important. I don't remember what all I remember is that it turned out to be a trap. There was a whole group of guards waiting for him around every turn." Naruto balled his fists, shaking with grief or rage, Sasuke couldn't tell which. "He got caught and they hanged him in the town square like he was some kind of evil man that deserved to be made a spectacle of! He was a good man! He was responsible and he loved his family more than anything! He deserved better!

"My mother was so upset that she made it her goal to get revenge and turn the villages around but then…she hadn't done a whole lot of training after she got pregnant with me. And she was loud and caring and didn't think so fast on her toes like me and about a year later she got caught too.

"That's the only thing I didn't like about growing up in a rebel camp. Lots of us lost our parents young." Naruto wiped away a few tears he hadn't been able to hold back. "But everyone's had at least one really shitty thing happen to 'em, right? Your turn."

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked," Sasuke said looking down at the ground and blushing in shame.

Naruto shook his head. He put on a half-hearted grin to make Sasuke feel a little bit better as he tried to change the subject. "It's fine. You must've had something real shitty like that happen to you too, right? Like having to marry a pedophile. So tell me. What was your childhood like?"

"Average, as soon as I was old enough I attended etiquette and calligraphy class. I went to a lot teas with my mother to make political connection and meet potential suitors and once I was old enough my family put a dowry over my head and had me engaged for political interests.

"The martial arts training was different though. Most people in my position wouldn't have been able to learn that, but I had Kakashi and Itachi. I suppose they thought it was important I was able to defend myself. I bet they're both regretting it now."

"I don't think Kakashi would ever teach you something unless he was sure you'd need it one day so he probably doesn't regret it. But didn't you ever just do anything for fun? 'Cause you wanted to?"

"I used to sneak out and train. I liked that. Sometimes I'd see if I were stealthy enough to steal from my father's study without being noticed. I liked that too."

Naruto laughed. "You stole from your own family? Didn't you ever get busted?"

"At first I did, but as I got better not so much. I usually made an excuse as to why I was there. I'd say I was borrowing a book or something, which wasn't entirely untrue. That's usually what I stole, his books."

"So you like to read then? And you like martial arts? I already know tons more about you than I did before. Tell me more. That can't be everything."

"One time when I was little I decapitated my cousin's teddy-bear."

Naruto laughed hysterically. "Why-why-ahahahahaha- would you-ahahahaha-do that?"

"She told me I'd never be as strong as Itachi." Sasuke narrowed his eyes in remembrance.

Naruto laughed harder. "What kind of kid were you? Man, the worst thing I ever did was spy on Sakura-chan in the bath."

Sasuke scoffed, "You have no sense of decency, do you dobe."

"Sure, I do! But there aren't many girls at a rebel camp and I really wanted to see some boobs. I already got punished for it. You never met Lee so count your blessings but he made me do laps around the camp to 'right the wrong I committed in the springtime of my youth'."

Sasuke stifled a laugh, "The way you were coming on to me dobe, I'd have thought you preferred men."

"If it came right down to it and someone said pick between screwing a man for the rest of your life or a girl putting who the person was aside I'd probably go for a dude but I like girls. I really like girls." Naruto smirked lecherously.

"So…have you…" Sasuke looked away, "Have you been with both? I mean with a man and a woman…sexually."

"Yeah, 'course. I'm twenty-two and I wouldn't be Pervy Sage's pride and joy if I didn't get some every now and again. Have you ever slept with someone?"

"Of course not, if Orochimaru found out his bride to be was less than virginal heads would roll."

"Oh yeah, I guess that's true. So you can only ever have sex with him? Man, that sucks."

"Hn, it's not all bad. At least I won't have anything to compare it to so it's bound to be the best."

"He's over sixty! Even if he was good at one point in time by now he's lost all his stamina! I doubt he can even get it up anymore!"

"I'm not terribly upset about that." Sasuke retorted flatly.

"Anyway I look at it, that marriage just sucks. You should marry someone when you love them, not when you're parents decide."

"I'm not terribly fond of the idea either dobe, but it's not like I have any other choice. If I refuse to marry Orochimaru I will shame my entire family."

"Your family shouldn't make you choose like that."

"It's not like that, just forget it. You wouldn't understand."

Naruto grit his teeth at the thought of Sasuke thinking he didn't understand him. "If you say so." Naruto got up from his spot at the table to go to their bed.

"Oi dobe where are you going? You can't go to sleep yet it's only eight o'clock."

Naruto didn't answer instead he glared at the ceiling while lying on their bed. Here he was trying to understand the Uchiha and he makes it sound like Naruto should just give up. No, that wasn't true. Naruto was just frustrated with himself for not understanding and deep down he knew it.

Sasuke sighed. He shouldn't have been so short with Naruto. After all the man had abandoned his comrades in the middle of the desert (twice) to be with someone he barely knew. Sasuke supposed he should cut him some slack.

Standing up from the table Sasuke walked over to their bed, taking a seat beside Naruto. "Well if you're going to go to bed," Sasuke leaned forward letting his hot breath ghost over Naruto's ear, "at least give your wife a good night kiss."

Naruto grinned at Sasuke worries instantly forgotten. He hadn't planned on pushing for a kiss again. He didn't want Sasuke to get tired of it, but if he was offering… Naruto sat up to press his lips to Sasuke's softly. "Good night."

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto's neck before pressing his own hard, inexperienced kiss to Naruto's lips. "Night dobe."

Naruto was completely taken aback by Sasuke's uncharacteristic forwardness before he grinned again. "That was cute. You should do it more often."

Sasuke blushed already rising from the bed to get dressed into his bedclothes, "Hn. You should give me incentive to."

"I'm sexy, isn't that enough?" Naruto snickered.

"I've seen better."

"What? That is clearly a lie! No one is sexier than I am."

Sasuke climbed in bed beside Naruto, "Go to bed dobe. Maybe if you go to sleep now I'll be able to get you up in time for work." With that Sasuke reached across to the nightstand to snuff the oil lamp out.

Naruto pulled Sasuke down to lie on his stomach before he could reposition. "If you want me to sleep well so I can get up for work we've gotta sleep like this."

"How does that make any sense dobe?" Sasuke growled.

"Trust me. It makes a difference." Naruto said wrapping his arms around Sasuke.

"Whatever dobe, just keep your hands above the waist."

"Yes ma'am." Naruto snickered already falling asleep.

* * *

><p>"Well I think we can safely say they're not in Wave." Tayuya said walking out of what was quite literally the last hotel in Wave, "We've searched every nook and cranny of this place and haven't seen hide nor hair of either of them.<p>

"Any other ideas Kakashi? Did Sasuke ever mention anywhere else he might want to visit?"

"Well, Sasuke likes to fight, but I doubt he's stupid enough to go into a town and flaunt his skills. Still he might go to a place where people often fight so if he gets into one or two scraps it won't be a big deal." Kakashi said.

"Naruto likes small towns." Gaara said distantly. "He likes being able to know everyone in a town."

"In other words, we have no idea." Kakashi smiled.

"Well if you want a small town you can't get much smaller than Star…of course they're pretty peaceful and tend to keep to themselves." Temari said.

"That might work to our benefit though. I mean in such a small town they'd be sure to spot people who looked out of place." Tayuya said.

Kakashi nodded. "Then we'll pay them a visit."

* * *

><p>Naruto was humming happily to himself as he walked to work. Sasuke had been giving him kisses lately without or with minimal prodding. Life was good that is until he heard it. "Excuse me, Miss." It was Kakashi voice right around the corner. He was talking to Hinata-chan in front of her teashop.<p>

"Y-yes?" She asked intimidated by Kakashi.

"Have you seen anyone that doesn't exactly belong in Star? Perhaps some new residents? They might seem…unaccustomed to life."

"Um, t-the only p-people I can think of l-like that are t-the newly weds w-who just moved here? Th-They aren't in trouble are they? I-Is it because h-he's pregnant? I-Is his father angry?"

"Well, if that's true I'm sure his father will be livid. I'm sorry, miss, but you've been misled about them. They're not lovers or married last I checked. I work for the Uchiha family. The supposed wife is Uchiha Sasuke. I've come to take him back."

"O-oh w-well, um Naruto-san works next door." Hinata smiled.

"Perfect." Kakashi smiled. "Thank you very much."

"E-excuse me sir, but d-does that mean Naruto-san is single?"

Kakashi chuckled. "Yes, he is, but I'm afraid that he is a rather poor match for you. He's very reckless and his job puts him in great danger. He won't be able to stay in Star."

"I-I understand," Hinata said disheartened.

Naruto turned back around and started to run back to the hotel room. "Sasuke! We've gotta go! Pack up all your shit!" Naruto yelled as he ran in the room.

"Dobe what's wrong?" Sasuke said looking confused at Naruto who'd burst through the door as if to announce the being of the apocalypse. "What's going on?"

"Kakashi's waiting for me at my work. He probably came here with Gaara and everyone, we've gotta get outta here."

"No," Sasuke said, "There's no way we'll get out of this town without being spotted. Lye low, get rid of the horses. We'll just have to make them think we left and then when the coast is clear we'll figure out what to do."

"They'll check the hotels. We always check hotels when we look for people."

"So we'll check out. There's gotta be somewhere else we can stay. Come on dobe this is supposed to be your forte."

"Usually, I'd lay low at a friend's place but we don't really know anyone here."

"We know Hinata." Sasuke said hopefully.

"Kakashi's waiting out there right now, but we might be able to get in the back door and ask…Alright. Let's do it. C'mon." Naruto said leading Sasuke around town as stealthily as he could until they reached their destination.

"Hinata!" Naruto whispered to her. "Hinata-chan! This is important."

"N-Naruto-san what are you doing here?" Hinata nearly dropped the teapot she was carrying at the sound of Naruto's voice.

"I kinda have a favor to ask. You see that man outside. He's been chasing us around and…it's kinda a long story but if you can just give us a place to crash for a couple days I'll tell you everything."

"O-okay, just wait here until my shift is over." Hinata said.

"Thanks, Hinata-chan! You're a life saver!" Naruto grinned.

* * *

><p>Sasuke had been hoping that Kakashi would have left by the time Hinata's shift was up. Kakashi, however, was more determined than he had counted on. So Naruto and Sasuke had no choice, but to sneak out the back and wait for Hinata.<p>

(Originally the plan had been for Sasuke, Naruto and Hinata to all three sneak out the back, but as Sasuke had explained to a hyperventilating Hinata and 'super-ninja' Naruto, it would look very strange to have Hinata leave her own work via the back entrance.)

So now Sasuke and Naruto stood waiting for Hinata to lead them through the back roads to her house. Sasuke hoped Kakashi hadn't caught her up, she wasn't the type that did well under pressure.

"Oh man, she totally got busted! Kakashi must've just known! He's creepy like that!" Naruto whispered harshly.

"Shut up dobe! Don't jinx us!" Sasuke hissed back at Naruto.

"H-Hi." Hinata greeted drawing their attention over to her. "Wh-what's going on?"

"Hinata-chan!" Naruto ran over to hug her. "I thought Kakashi had totally gotten to you!"

Hinata blushed furiously and began to lead them down alleys back to her house after Naruto released her. "I-I hope it's a-alright th-that my cousin lives wi-with me."

"Should be fine." Naruto said.

Sasuke just grunted in the affirmative too busy mulling over Hinata and Naruto's earlier hug to give a real answer.

They reached Hinata's house and sat down in her living room. "U-um, m-may I ask…I mean since you're st-staying here…wh-what's going on?"

"Uh…well, teme here is Uchiha Sasuke. He's supposed to be getting married but he was passionately in love with me. And who can blame him? After you have Uz—"

Sasuke punched Naruto in the arm, "Don't tell such outrageous lies dobe and don't tell others things that aren't yours to tell."

"Pl-please tell me the truth." Hinata said trying her best to sound aggressive.

"Okay, teme is supposed to marry Orochimaru but my gang ransacked his carriage and he followed us back to camp. I promised I wouldn't take him back to Sound to marry such a creep and now we're running from the other rebels and Orochimaru's and Sasuke's dad's guards."

"Y-you're serious?" Hinata asked.

Naruto nodded.

"B-but you're not dating each other, right?"

"What do you care," Sasuke's voice was so hard it could cut diamonds.

"I-I…" Hinata blushed furiously looking down. She quickly changed the subject, "W-we can't tell Neji. H-he's a guard."

"Who's Neji?" Naruto asked.

As if on cue, Neji entered the house. "Who're your friends Hinata?" Neji said looking suspiciously between Naruto and Sasuke (although his eyes lingered on Naruto a moment longer than necessary).

Naruto got up and held his hand out to Neji for him to shake. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto. Nice to meet ya. We're just passing through but we thought it'd be nice to visit Hinata-chan."

Hinata just smiled and nodded making a note of what their story was.

"Oh? How do you know Hinata?" Neji said raising an eyebrow.

"Oh the dobe and Hina-chan are great friends." Sasuke drawled mockingly.

"Not that good." Naruto frowned at Sasuke. He looked back to Neji. "I mean we are friends just not really great friends."

"You seem pretty close to me." Sasuke muttered.

"Well it's nice to meet you both. I hope you both enjoy your stay here." Neji said before exiting.

"Y-yes, le-let me give you a tour." Hinata walked them around the house showing them where they would be staying and where the bathrooms were but Naruto wasn't paying much attention. He couldn't shake the feeling that Sasuke was mad about something. He couldn't figure out why. He hadn't done anything, had he? It seemed like he would remember. After Hinata left the two alone Naruto voiced his concern. "Are you mad at me, teme?"

"Why would I be angry?" Sasuke forced himself to sound casual. "It's not like you've done anything _wrong_. I guess I just didn't realize how volatile you were."

"Volatile? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nothing dobe, it's nothing." Sasuke gave a dramatic sigh, "Hinata's a very pretty girl-I mean if you go for that whole pupil-less look-I completely understand why you'd be so quick to…well never mind. Let's just sort out what we're going to do about Kakashi."

"Wait, I think I know what this is about!" Naruto grinned at the realization. "See, this is why we should've gotten to know each other better. If we had, you'd know Hinata-chan's not my type."

"You don't think we know each other! I told you about decapitating my cousin's teddy bear! I've never told anyone that!" Sasuke hissed furiously.

Naruto snickered. "That was so hilarious. I just meant that you have no reason to be jealous."

"Don't flatter yourself dobe."

Naruto shrugged. "If you say so. But for what it's worth, she's not as pretty as you are."

Sasuke blushed a deep crimson, "You didn't seem to mind rubbing up on her." Sasuke mumbled.

Naruto snickered before starting to look around the house. "This place is huge! It's like ten of my tents!"

Sasuke shrugged, "I thought it was a bit small. I mean for a main house. I suppose they are middle class."

"Really? This is small? I don't ever really go to houses."

"I'd guessed as much." Sasuke looked down at their sleeping arrangements, "I guess we won't be sleeping together anymore."

Naruto frowned. "Oh man, I liked sharing a bed with you. I'll just have to sneak into your bed at night. I'm stealthy like that." Naruto smirked.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "You couldn't sneak past a blind man. In fact I bet it's your fault we got caught. After all it was you who introduced yourself to the villagers by your real name, not to mention Hinata's cousin who happens to be a guard."

"There's nothing wrong with using my name 'cause all the guard's know me as Kyuubi and I don't have any birth certificates or anything they can trace me down with 'cause I was born at a rebel camp. They have no way of even knowing if this really is my name. If you used your name, you'd be fucked."

"So you told Hinata?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "You really think we can trust her with that kind of thing?"

"She's not untrustworthy. I think it should be fine. Hinata seems really nice." Naruto said confidently.

"Well maybe she'll be nice enough to kiss you good night today."

"You mean you're not gonna? Why not?" Naruto pouted.

"Why should I?"

"C'mon teme, you did it before we started staying with Hinata-chan!" Naruto whined.

"We were married then."

"Not in real life. Nothing's really changed."

"If you want a kiss so bad dobe why don't you just take one."

"That a challenge?" Naruto smirked snaking an arm around Sasuke's waist and pulling him into a hard, deep kiss.

"Ah," Sasuke gasped into the kiss wrapping his arms tightly around Naruto's neck and weaving a hand through blond locks. He allowed Naruto's tongue to explore his mouth mirroring his actions with tentative inexperience at first, but soon growing more confident.

Naruto gave Sasuke's bottom lip a bite as he pulled away, smirking. "That wasn't so bad now, was it?"

"Mmm, I've had better." Sasuke smirked up at Naruto before resting his head on his shoulder.

"Liar."

"U-um," The pair looked to Hinata that had returned without their noticing. "I-I don't mean to in-interrupt anything, b-but dinner is ready." She walked away looking a little sad.

"Food!" Naruto cheered running off to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Sasuke followed Naruto into the kitchen taking a seat beside Naruto and across from Neji, "So," Neji said staring down Sasuke, "How do you two know each other?"<p>

"We're married." Sasuke said hurriedly. _Try flirting now, bitch, _Sasuke thought glancing at Hinata from the corner of his eye.

"Really? Still?" Naruto yelled but tried to cover up quickly afterward. "I mean yeah! We're totally married! I just haven't gotten used to it yet."

Hinata stifled a laugh at Naruto.

Sasuke punched Naruto in the shoulder, "Dobe."

"So I take it you two haven't been married very long?" Neji asked, "Is this your honeymoon?"

"Kinda." Naruto said.

"Kind of? What do you mean?" Neji looked suspicious.

"Uh, well, we're passing through here on our way to the honeymoon. So we won't be staying long, we just love Hinata-chan so much we had to visit." Naruto said putting an arm around Hinata to prove his point.

Hinata blushed while trying to figure out what Neji was thinking. He was definitely suspicious. Naruto wasn't very good at lying for a rebel.

"You certainly ask a lot of questions Neji-san?" Sasuke commented dryly, "Mind if I ask you something?" Sasuke didn't wait for an answer before continuing, "Why is it a man your age lives with his cousin and not his spouse?"

"I'm not married." Neji answered without a second thought. "And since Hinata wanted to work at that teashop and not become a guard as our family is known for, she couldn't afford to live anywhere nice on her own."

"I-I just d-don't like fi-fighting." Hinata mumbled.

"So why doesn't she live at home? Isn't it customary for young women to live at home until they're married? And as for your marital status I'd guessed as much."

"Hinata and her father don't get along. Her father is a very strict man who believed Hinata should have married as soon as she came of age or become a guard, she didn't want to do either. And for your information," Neji ground his teeth feeling insulted by Sasuke's comment on his martial status, "I've had many offers, but fate will bring the one I am supposed to marry to me, I'm sure."

"Ne-Neji also wants to marry for love s-so he's been helping me." Hinata said.

"I think that marrying for love is great." Naruto grinned. "It's terrible to think some people are trapped in a terrible marriage just 'cause of their family. I know when I get-I mean, when I married Sasuke, it was for love."

Sasuke kicked Naruto under the table, "Idiot." He growled.

"Ow!" Naruto yelped. "Abusive." He mumbled.

Neji looked between Naruto and Sasuke suspiciously. "You two certainly don't seem very close."

"Don't insult my marriage!" Sasuke screamed indignantly.

"I was just making an observation. Are you this defensive because you know you only got married for…appearances?" Neji asked.

"Man, everyone around here thinks your pregnant, teme. Pretty bullshit! I mean I'm not even getting any!" Naruto protested.

"You're not having sex with your wife?" Neji said cocking a brow.

"Fucking dobe," Sasuke said flying up from his seat and stomping toward their room.

"Teme! Wait!" Naruto yelled running after him. "I'm sorry!"

Sasuke didn't look back, but continued to stomp away until he'd reached his destination, slamming the door of their room behind him.

"Oh, man." Naruto groaned. "C'mon Sasu-chan! I said I was sorry!" Naruto pounded on the door.

"Hm, I thought you married for love, but you don't seem to have a very happy marriage." Neji said.

"N-Neji, I-I think we should l-let them take care o-of this b-by themselves." Hinata said.

"Shut the fuck up, Neji! I've only known you for a half an hour but I can already tell you think fate is just gonna give you everything you want! That's why you're just a spoiled brat! You've gotta take things for yourself! Now, wait what was I doing…Sasuke, forgive me!" Naruto yelled at the door.

Sasuke smiled. He hadn't realized just how pleased hearing Naruto tell Neji off would make him. He opened the door, "Come here dobe."

"Score!" Naruto grinned wrapping his arms around Sasuke as they walked back into the room. Neither of them took note of how slack-jawed Neji was.

"W-well it looks like things w-worked out. Come on Neji-kun let's give them s-some p-privacy." Hinata smiled blushing a bit.

Neji just nodded dumbly and followed Hinata out of the room.

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto neck and pulled him down for a deep kiss. "You really told that bastard back there."

Naruto smirked at Sasuke. "If I'd known that's what you were into I would've done it sooner."

Sasuke smirked back at Naruto for a moment before a passing thought morphed his lips into a thin, stern line, "Dobe do you really think we aren't close?"

"Of course we're close! You told me about decapitating the teddy bear!" Naruto protested.

"Bitch had it coming," Sasuke muttered. "That's not the point dobe. What I mean to say is that no one seems to think that we make a very convincing married couple. Maybe it would be beneficial if we…I don't know. It seems I know as much about you as I do Orochimaru, if not more. What is it that makes people _appear_ to be married.

"And for that matter who is that bastard to say we don't have it. He doesn't know us. I could easily lo-…we could be married just as easily as any other two people."

Naruto grinned. "You were going to say you could easily love me. I think we make a good married couple. We have good chemistry."

"Hn," Sasuke rolled his eyes, "does that work for you often?"

"Does what?" Naruto looked genuinely confused.

" 'We have good chemistry.' Even I can tell that's a come on."

"That's insulting." Naruto frowned. "I never say anything I don't mean. I really do think we have good chemistry and for your information I've never told anyone else that. When you're this sexy you don't even need come-ons."

"I wouldn't own up to it either." Sasuke smirked, "Now if you'll give me some privacy dobe, I'd like to get changed for bed."

"I think it would help us appear to be married if you changed in front of me. I mean, married couples do it all the time and a man should be able to give a detailed account of what his wife looks like naked." Naruto smirked lecherously.

"And just who the hell would you be giving this account to?" Sasuke glared.

"It's not a matter of actually giving it, I just should be able to. So…" Naruto gestured for Sasuke to start undressing.

"Turn around before I break your nose dobe."

Naruto yelped before holding his hands up in surrender and turning around. "This is pointless you know. I already saw you naked when you took a bath at camp."

Sasuke pulled his shirt over his head and threw it at Naruto, "It's in your best interest to forget about that and never mention it again dobe."

"But it was so hot!" Naruto protested drooling at the memory. "No way, will I ever forget it. Not even when I'm old and senile."

Sasuke chucked his pants at Naruto next, "You're a tactless pig."

Naruto snickered. Now that Sasuke was completely undressed he thought he'd take the opportunity to sneak a peak.

Even with his back turned Sasuke knew Naruto was looking, "Eyes to yourself dobe."

"You're so cruel." Naruto pouted turning back to the wall. "It's like dangling a cake in front of a fat kid and telling him not to eat it."

"Hn," Sasuke grinned, "Lovely analogy dobe." He'd finished pulling on his bed dress and was crawling under the covers, "You can turn around now by the way."

Naruto grinned at Sasuke. "Wanna watch me change?" Naruto didn't wait for Sasuke's response before beginning to strip. He slowly pulled his shirt off and started spinning it around his head.

Sasuke blushed a deep red, "Usuratonkachi!" He buried his face into his pillow, "What do you think you're doing? Quit acting like a pervert."

"C'mon you know you wanna look." Naruto threw his pants at Sasuke.

"I have absolutely _no _desire whatsoever to see you naked."

"I doubt that. I'm a sexy beast. Last chance." Naruto said making to grab his sleeping pants.

Sasuke peeked discreetly out of his left eye praying Naruto wouldn't notice, "I'd rather gouge my eyes out," he said trying to divert attention from his peeking.

"Then why are you peeking?" Naruto smirked pulling his pants on.

Sasuke buried his head farther into the pillow, "I am not!"

"It's okay, Sasuke. I'm a sexy beast, no one can resist a peek at my sexiness." Naruto didn't bother to put a shirt on as they were for out of shape pansies and prudes. "Done!"

Sasuke looked up, "I wish you'd wear a shirt." Not that he'd actually expected Naruto to be wearing a shirt, as he hadn't the entire time they'd been living together.

"Screw that! I'm hot and everyone deserves to bask in the awesomeness that is my chest. You wouldn't wear a shirt either if you weren't so prude." Naruto eyed Sasuke expecting this antagonizing would make Sasuke take his shirt off.

"I'm not prude," Sasuke said evenly. "I'm tasteful and modest. Two things you wouldn't know anything about…and I'm not taking off my shirt."

"Damn," Naruto muttered. "I'm totally tasteful. If I wasn't I wouldn't wear pants but since you're here I am so be grateful."

"You're right oh-magnanimous-one. Thank you so much for covering your dick before getting into bed with me," Sasuke drawled sarcastically.

"You're welcome." Naruto grinned. "Now, let's go to bed." Naruto started to push the beds together.

"What are you doing? They'll just push apart in the middle of the night. Just get in here."

"Okay." Naruto jumped in bed with Sasuke spooning him.

Sasuke meant to protest, but somehow he found himself lulled to sleep by Naruto's comforting warmth before he ever had time.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: **I guess the last chapter and this own aren't very actiony, but the action will come back! I promise. I don't own Naruto.

Gaara was fuming. Even his own siblings didn't want to be near him. They'd checked every hotel. Naruto and the slut weren't anywhere to be found but they couldn't ignore that'd seen them and with all the people they had around there was no way they'd gotten out of town. Kakashi had said he'd tried time and time again to get the girl to talk again but she seemed pretty tight-lipped which meant she knew something. That girl must have known who they were and where Naruto and Sasuke were. It was just a matter of getting them to talk.

"You have to admire her for being so loyal to them." Kakashi said trying to calm Gaara down.

"The hell I do." Gaara hissed. "We've gotta get her to talk."

"Well what do you propose?" Tayuya asked. She was getting quite feed up with chasing the Uchiha around herself, "We've tried everything short of water torture to get her to talk?"

"I suggest water torture." Gaara said.

"Score!" Suigetsu cheered.

"No water torture. We are not barbarians. We can find another way." Kakashi deadpanned.

"Aw man." Suigetsu groaned.

"Well, I'm out of ideas. I mean short of putting a tail on the girl, but that could put us at risk too as she comes from a family of guards." Tayuya groaned, "There has to be some way to get to her. I mean Naruto and Uchiha managed."

"You have to remember that Naruto meets someone and instantly befriends them. That girl probably considers Naruto a good friend which would be why she's helping him even if she knows." Kakashi said.

"That still doesn't explain how they made it past her cousin." Tayuya said, "I mean what kind of incompetent guard doesn't recognize Uchiha Sasuke. There are missing person posters of him posted from here to Sound."

"Perhaps he's Naruto's friend by now too. I wouldn't put it past him, but anything is possible with Naruto. There's a multitude of possibilities." Kakashi said.

"None of this matters. We just need to find Naruto before that Uchiha tramp get his claws on him." Gaara growled.

"You don't honestly think anything's going on between them?" Tayuya asked.

"There better not be," Temari screamed, "If that Uchiha brat ends up pregnant with that moron's spawn we're all in trouble."

"As much as I hate to admit it, it seems likely there is. If not because Naruto is a persistent pervert then because Sasuke would try to use Naruto to escape his marriage like he did with Suigetsu." Kakashi said. "Even if we don't know for sure that they're sleeping together it's best to allow them the least amount of time together so we can be sure Sasuke's…pure."

"Shit," Temari cursed, "There's gotta be a way to get it out of her."

"Alright I'll do it." Suigetsu sighed. "I'll sleep with her to get the information outta her. No need for thanks. I'm ready to make this sacrifice for the team."

Tayuya punched Suigetsu in the shoulder, "You moron. What goes on in that twisted mind of yours?"

"No wait that's not a bad idea." Temari said.

Kakashi nodded. "Getting close with her may get us some information, but perhaps Suigetsu's not the best choice. We want to get her to talk we don't want to give her a disease."

"She likes Naruto and he's a pervert. I'll be nice besides she knows you're after Naruto and the tease. She won't tell you anything." Suigetsu said.

"That's true." Gaara said.

"I didn't mean Suigetsu." Temari said rolling her eyes, "You said she likes Naruto. Who do we know that's like Naruto?"

"I've got just the man back at camp." Kakashi said. "I'll go and get him tomorrow."

"So does that mean I don't get to sleep with her?" Suigetsu asked.

"Yes." Gaara answered.

"Damn, she had a nice rack." Suigetsu muttered.

"You're a pig." Tayuya scoffed.

"I love it when cute girls talk dirty," Suigetsu leered.

* * *

><p>When Sasuke woke up that morning he found his head resting on something warm and a hard. In a semi-conscious state he cuddled deeper into the warmth willing himself back to sleep until, that is, he felt a large, strong hand on his ass.<p>

Sasuke's eyes flew up and he sprung up from bed, "Dobe what the fuck?"

"I thought you were still asleep." Naruto grinned sheepishly. "Oh well, might as well get up now. Good morning kiss?" Naruto puckered his lips.

"Didn't you get your fill when you grabbed my ass?"

"No, you woke up before I could so you owe me."

"I owe you nothing! You were the one molesting me in my sleep! Just how long have you been doing this anyway?"

"Uh…Kissums!" Naruto jumped up and pecked Sasuke on the lips before running out of the room. "C'mon teme, it's breakfast time!"

"Stupid perverted dobe," Sasuke grumbled following Naruto out of the room and taking a seat beside him at the breakfast table.

"G-good morning. H-how did you sleep?" Hinata smiled at them.

"Great, thanks Hina-chan." Naruto said.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look like Uchiha Sasuke?" Neji stared Sasuke down. "How funny that you also share the same first name. And I assume you took Naruto's last name after the marriage?"

Naruto choked on the food he'd been shoveling in his mouth.

"I did." Sasuke said flatly, "What are you implying Neji-san?"

"So tell me, what's your maiden name?"

"Watanabe," Sasuke said without skipping a beat, "I must thank you for your compliment though Neji-san. It is a great honor to be compared to a member of a higher clan such as Uchiha-san." Sasuke kept his voice cool though it was odd talking about himself in the third person.

"My mistake. It's just so strange for someone that resembles him so closely to come so quickly after the engaged Uchiha disappears." Neji's tone suggested he did not think he was mistaken at all. "Where do you two come from?"

"Suna," Sasuke answered realizing this was probably not the best answer given his pasty appearance, but then again Gaara was rather fair so maybe he'd get away with it.

"How strange with your complexion." Neji said.

"Lots of people in Suna are pale like Sasu-chan. There's Gaara and his family too." Naruto said.

"Hmm." Neji glared at them.

"L-let's not do th-this at the br-breakfast table." Hinata said.

"Fine, I have to go to work anyway." Neji stood and walked out of the house.

"I-I'm sorry. N-Neji just tries very hard to be the best guard he can." Hinata said.

"I didn't think we were that suspicious." Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"It's my fault. He recognized me. Orochimaru and my father must have posters all over by now." Sasuke said, "Maybe we should leave, at the very least you should dobe. If I get caught they'll send me to Sound, but you…It was selfish of me to drag you into this."

"No way! I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be and we can keep Neji from finding out I'm sure of it. Everything'll be fine. We can't leave the city without getting caught by Gaara and the gang anyway." Naruto protested.

"Dobe you need to think this through," Sasuke said sternly, "You're putting yourself in a great deal of danger here."

"There's no way in hell I'm abandoning you. It goes against my code of honor."

"Oh, but sleep molestation is completely honorable?" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"I see nothing wrong with it. After all I've helped you so much I deserve a little reward, right?"

Hinata laughed at the pair's fighting. "Well, I'm sorry but I have to leave for work. I'll try to be back as soon as possible." Hinata waved a goodbye and left.

"Goodbye Hinata," Sasuke said, "So dobe, what should we do all day?"

Naruto smirked lecherously. "I have a few ideas."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but a grin stole his lips just the same, "Yeah, and just what would those be?"

Naruto took that as an invitation to press his press his lips against Sasuke's in a passionate kiss. Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto neck and returned the kiss fervently letting his tongue and breath mingle with Naruto's.

Naruto's hands moved from Sasuke's waist to his ass to complete the grope that had been so rudely interrupted his morning as Naruto shifted his weight and they became more horizontal.

Sasuke soon found himself pinned beneath Naruto's body weight. His hands gripping frantically at Naruto's golden hair and shirt, he began to grind his erection up against Naruto's. Panting Sasuke pulled away from the kissing session, "Dobe, a-are you sure we should be doing th-this?"

"Do you want to stop?" Naruto panted back.

Sasuke thought for only a moment before pulling Naruto down into a deep kiss.

Naruto broke away this time. "This is important, Sasuke. You need to be one hundred percent sure you want to do this because if we keep going I'm not going to be able to stop."

Sasuke pulled his shirt off and wrapped his legs around Naruto's hips grinding upward once again.

Taking that as a yes, Naruto kissed Sasuke's neck hard enough to leave marks while rolling Sasuke's nipple between his thumb and index finger.

"Aaaah," Sasuke moaned running a hand down Naruto's back and gripping his ass.

Naruto moaned in the back of his throat. He kissed down Sasuke's chest before pulling his pants down. He put a finger up to Sasuke's mouth. "Suck on it." He said slightly impatiently.

Sasuke sucked Naruto's finger into his mouth before biting down on it. That'd teach the dobe to be so short with him.

Naruto winced at the bite. "I didn't think you were into that, teme." Naruto smirked before using a dry finger to penetrate the Uchiha with. That'd teach teme.

"Ahhh," Sasuke cried out as Naruto's finger entered him, "A-asshole." He groaned out.

"You deserved it." Naruto muttered adding the lubricated finger.

Sasuke squirmed a bit at the odd sensation of Naruto's fingers inside of him that is until Naruto managed to find his prostate. The sensation was unlike anything Sasuke had ever felt before causing him to thrust back on Naruto's fingers.

Naruto smirked at Sasuke's reaction. He made scissoring motion with his fingers. When he was sure Sasuke was ready and pulled out his fingers. "Ready, teme?"

"Fuck me dobe," Sasuke said pulling Naruto into a kiss.

Naruto didn't have to be told twice he rather eagerly complied thrusting into Sasuke's painfully tight entrance slowly to let him feel each inch.

"Oh N-Naruto," Sasuke arched his back bringing their chest closer together. He threw his head side to side as he began making incoherent moans and whimpers.

Naruto thrust slowly to begin with allowing Sasuke sometime to become used to it but soon enough Naruto gave in to his own desires thrusting hard and fast.

"Ah Naruto!" Sasuke screamed, "Harder…Faster, deeper! Sasuke wrapped his legs tighter around Naruto impaling himself further on Naruto's dick.

Again Naruto was eager to comply soon going as fast and as hard as he could manage.

Soon Sasuke's hand found it's way between his legs and he began stroking himself to completion.

Seeing Sasuke play with himself only made Naruto that much hotter and soon after Sasuke Naruto came. Naruto pulled out and laid down on the dining room floor next to Sasuke.

"So what now?" Sasuke panted out lying bare beside Naruto on the floor.

"I don't know." Naruto panted.

"I thought you said you'd done this before?" Sasuke said turning onto his side to face Naruto.

"I have, but usually afterward we just fall asleep and then one of us will leave in the middle of the night."

"Oh," Sasuke rolled onto his back once more, "So then, we aren't…you know."

"What? You want me to leave? I'm not going anywhere! That's only how it works for one night stands, I'm not interested in that with you!" Naruto protested.

"That's not what I meant you idiot. I was asking if you…What does this make us?" Sasuke blushed.

"Oh, well, that's easy. It makes us lovers." Naruto grinned.

Sasuke cuddled up to Naruto burying his head in Naruto's chest, "Mo moes mat mean moo muv me." Sasuke mumbled hurriedly into Naruto's chest.

"Yeah, Sasu-chan. I think I love you." Naruto nuzzled the top of Sasuke's head.

"You'd fucking better dobe," Sasuke said unburying his head from Naruto's chest, "I gave you my virginity. I'll kill you if you ever leave me now."

Naruto chuckled kissing Sasuke's forehead. "I'm never gonna leave you Sasuke no matter what you do or how sick of me you get."

Sasuke leaned up and kissed Naruto's lips, "I love you dobe."

* * *

><p>This was a pretty sweet deal if Kiba ever heard one. He'd never been asked to sleep with a girl for his job before but he wasn't going to fight it. It was every pervert's dream.<p>

Hinata stumbled over to Kiba. "M-may I help y-you, sir?"

Kiba leered at the girl, "Maybe, I'll have some tea and tell me which of these cakes do you recommend?"

"I-I personally like the strawberry shortcake. Uh, wh-what kind of tea would you like?"

"The strawberry shortcake huh? Is it as sweet as you?" Kiba grinned having just said what he thought was an impeccable pick-up line.

Hinata blushed at his forwardness. Being from Star she'd only ever had two men try to pick her up but even they were a little subtler. "I-I, w-well, i-it's sweet, yes."

"It couldn't possibly be as sweet as you though." Kiba's grin grew, "I'm Kiba by the way and your name is?"

Hinata's blush deepened. "I-I'm Hy-Hyuuga Hi-Hinata. I-it's nice t-to meet you. S-so does that mean th-that you want st-strawberry shortcake?"

"Sure, as long as it comes with a date."

"E-e-e-e-excuse me?" Hinata's face was beet red. "D-don't y-you th-think y-you're being t-too forward? I-I mean we only j-just met."

"So is that a no?" Kiba asked looking forlorn.

"I-I," Hinata wanted to say it was a no but she couldn't stand upsetting someone so much so she tried to let him down as easily as possible. "W-well m-maybe i-if we get t-to know each other better th-then we c-could go out on a d-date."

"Alright," Kiba smiled, "What do you want to know?"

This wasn't going exactly to Hinata's plan. She'd never expect someone to be so persistent especially when they'd just met. "W-well, wh-what do you do for a living? O-or what are your hobbies? Wh-where are you from? H-how old are you? Things like that."

"Whoa, one question at a time. My name is Kiba, as you know. I'm 22. I live in Konoha and my hobbies are well why don't I tell them on our date." Kiba waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I-I…I-I guess I-I have no r-reason not t-to go…"

"Great, I'll pick you up at your place around seven…Where do you live?"

Hinata thought about Naruto and Sasuke and decided against inviting a stranger to her house. "W-well, I ac-actually get off at seven. So-so, p-pick me up fr-from he-here, o-okay?"

"Sure thing, see you then."

* * *

><p>Sasuke and Naruto had migrated to the living room floor where Naruto now lay on his back with Sasuke riding his dick like a jockey rides a prize horse. They'd meant to go back into their room, but when neither Neji nor Hinata came home they'd only made it as far as the living room.<p>

Sasuke pushed himself up and down on Naruto's cock moaning as Naruto struck gold deep within him. "Oh G-God dobe, I love you."

Outside Kiba had insisted on walking Hinata home and as Hinata was not the most aggressive person alive Kiba had gotten his way. Hinata opened the door to walk inside.

Hinata walked in and saw Sasuke's naked upper body moving up and down and heard the moaning. Without thinking she pushed Kiba back to prevent him from walking in the room, but Hinata wasn't all that graceful so she only managed to make them both fall. "I-I'm sorry. Y-you see I li-live with my cou-cousin a-and he has his b-boyfriend over. I-I didn't want you t-to see."

"Right in the foyer?" Kiba said, "You're cousin must be one kinky bitch."

Sasuke and Naruto remained unaffected by the commotion outside and Sasuke coming closer to his climax began to cry out in ecstasy, "Oh fuck Naruto yes!"

Hinata blushed hoping Kiba didn't hear. "W-we should give them s-some privacy."

"Your cousin's name is Naruto?" Kiba said, "That's my best friend's name. Of course there's no way you're related. He looks nothing like you and he's from Konoha."

"O-oh," Hinata said as she came to the realization that Kiba may be a rebel. After all, Naruto had mentioned a boy named Kiba in his stories. "I-I mean, yes, what a coincidence."

"Yeah crazy, anyway I had a lot of fun. Maybe I can see you again sometime, I can even pick you up at your door like a real date this time?"

Hinata smiled. "Y-yeah, it was fun. B-but I-I don't know about th-the door thing. Na-Naruto i-is with his b-boyfriend a lot." The idea of Naruto and Sasuke being officially together made Hinata frown a bit. "W-well, good night, Kiba-san."

"Night," Kiba kissed Hinata's cheek grinning like the cat that got the canary before turning toward the road and heading away.

Hinata blushed furiously while walking in with her eyes averted. "A-are you two d-decent?" She asked.

"Oh shit, Hinata-chan!" Naruto yelled reaching to grab his pants.

Sasuke who'd been lying on top of Naruto fell backward onto the floor, smacking his head, "Dobe!" He screamed reaching for his own pants and rubbing his head simultaneously.

"I'm sorry, teme! You okay?" Naruto, having pulled his own pants on reached down to examine Sasuke. After a few seconds he kissed Sasuke on his head. "You look okay." He grinned.

Sasuke smacked Naruto away, "No thanks to you usuratonkachi." Sasuke pulled his clothes on hurriedly finally feeling the weight of Hinata's gaze on them, "I apologize Hinata." Sasuke bowed refusing to meet Hinata's eye and blushing profusely.

"Oh, yeah, sorry Hina-chan." Naruto grinned sheepishly obviously more concerned that Sasuke was mad at him.

"I-It's fine, b-but Kiba-san, almost saw you a-and I think he might b-be a rebel." Hinata said.

"Dog breath?" Naruto said. "He's my best friend. They must've called him in to try and find us. He's always been good at tracking."

Sasuke turned to Naruto, "What do we do? He's your best friend. There must be some way you could talk him out of giving us up."

"I could try to talk to him but I can't guarantee anything." Naruto said.

Sasuke rubbed his chin in thought, "Maybe Hinata could help us out."

"Oh yeah, Kiba's a real push over for girls." Naruto said.

"Um, I-I'll do what I-I can." Hinata sounded doubtful.

"I would be eternally grateful," Sasuke looked up at Hinata with doe eyes trying to wheedle Hinata into giving him his way.

It only took a few seconds for Hinata to break. "Wh-what should I do?"

Sasuke smiled wide, "Just lead him on a bit until you can talk him into telling Kakashi we've left town."

"I-I d-don't know that I can. I-I mean I-I've never really d-dated before. I-I wouldn't know h-how to lead anyone on."

"Don't you guys think this is a little mean? I want to be with Sasuke without those guy chasing us all the time don't get me wrong, but Kiba still my best friend and leading him on is just cruel." Naruto protested.

"N-Naruto-kun is right, Uchiha-san." Hinata said.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "It's not anymore cruel than selling out your best friend." Sasuke crawled over to Naruto, "C'mon dobe, Kiba'll get over it."

"I guess Kiba's pretty tough. He can take it." Naruto sighed wrapping his arms around Sasuke. "He's just a pervert anyway."

It still didn't sit exactly right with Hinata, but if Naruto said Kiba could take it then he probably could. After all who would know better than his best friend. "A-alright." Hinata nodded.

"Great," Sasuke grinned up at Naruto, "Now that that's been settled why don't we call it a night. I'm exhausted."

"Great, let's." Naruto grinned picking Sasuke up bridal-style and carrying him to their room.

"Good Night Hinata," Sasuke called over Naruto's shoulder before engaging the blond in a deep kiss.

"Good night you too." Hinata called out to them, but she didn't think they heard her considering how fast Naruto had them heading out of earshot.

* * *

><p>It wasn't any less awkward that morning than it had been before. Neji only seemed to grow more suspicious with each passing day. "You know there are rumors starting to spread that Uchiha Sasuke actually <em>ran away.<em> To be with a lover." Neji glared at Naruto and Sasuke.

"I hope he did." Naruto said. "It's fucking stupid that he should have to marry a man three times his age."

"Really?" Neji raised a brow.

"It's not really our place to say why he left. Rumors like that must devastate the family. People should just leave well enough alone." Sasuke said caustically.

"Most people don't fell so strongly about the Uchiha clan's troubles." Neji said.

"I just think that if he did run away with a lover then at least he's got a better chance of being happy than with some creepy old man." Naruto said more to Sasuke than Neji. "And the family shouldn't have asked that of him. It was cruel."

Neji continued to observe sensing they needed no more prodding.

"I'm sure the family didn't feel they were being cruel dobe. It's just higher clan politics." Sasuke said.

"Who gives a damn about higher clan politics? A kid can't chose what family he's born into so he shouldn't have to put up with that kind of stress especially from his own family!"

"H-hey, l-let's n-not fight. Th-these things a-aren't even relevant t-to us." Hinata said hoping to stop Naruto and Sasuke from giving themselves away.

"You're right Hinata," Sasuke said catching on quickly, "This isn't something we should concern ourselves with. Especially when _we _could obviously never understand." Sasuke sent Naruto a scathing glare at the last bit.

"Yeah, I'm sure their lives are so much more complex and deep than everyone else's." Naruto glared back at Sasuke.

"That's not what I said dobe." Sasuke hissed, "I just don't think you should criticize something you don't know anything about."

"I know plenty." Naruto fumed.

"And just what the hell do you know?" Sasuke demanded.

"I know tons about politics and family issues if you combine them together it's not hard to understand."

"What the hell kind of logic is that?" Sasuke screamed.

"It's my kind of logic! Maybe it's just something you wouldn't understand!" Naruto yelled back.

"I don't think anyone in their right mind would understand that kind of twisted logic." Sasuke countered.

"Wh-Who wants eggs?" Hinata tried once again to put a stop on the boys arguing.

"I didn't mean to cause such a fight." Neji smirked.

The fight being broken from its back and forth Naruto lost some of his adrenaline and decided it was probably best not to give Neji anymore proof. He just shoveled food in his mouth still fuming.

"Don't eat so fast dobe, you'll choke." Sasuke said taking a deep breath to calm himself after their fight.

Naruto didn't bother to heed Sasuke's warning. Instead he speed up. In his angered he found pissing off Sasuke gave him some sick sense of pleasure.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Fine dobe kill yourself to spite me."

Neji, feeling rather proud of himself and the information he'd acquired, left the house to go to work.

Hinata was left to sit in the awkward silence. Eventually, she felt so uncomfortable that she decided to just leave and go to work early.

"Could you at least chew usuratonkachi," Sasuke growled out through gritted teeth.

Naruto again sped up until he eventually did start choking. He started coughing violently. Sasuke rolled his eyes, but nonetheless rubbed Naruto's back until he managed to cough up what he'd been choking on. "I told you to slow down."

"I always eat that fast. I'm used to it by now." Naruto wiped at the egg on his lips with the back of his hand.

Sasuke shook his head, "You need to slow down and give your body time to digest."

"You don't really think I don't understand you, do you?"

"I just wish you wouldn't pass judgment on my family like that. You may not agree with what they do, but they're still my family."

"I guess I'll try to be a little nicer about it."

Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest sending a meaningful look, "You _guess _you'll _try_?"

"Alright, alright. I _will_ be nicer about it." Naruto grinned.

"Thank you dobe," Sasuke said in an overly saccharine voice before pecking Naruto on the cheek.

"You're so lucky to have such an understanding lover." Naruto snickered.

Sasuke punched Naruto in the chest, "I'd say it's you who's lucky to have such a forgiving lover."

"Forgiving isn't the word I'd use." Naruto chuckled.

"Shut up dobe, I'm very forgiving." Sasuke punched Naruto once again.

"Ow, fine, you're forgiving."

"That's better." Sasuke smirked, "Now go draw bath. I'm still all sweaty from last night."

"Alright," Naruto smirked. "I'll go draw _us_ a bath." Without waiting for Sasuke's response he walked away to go get the water.

"Us?" Sasuke screamed after Naruto, "You'd better stay the hell out of my bath dobe." Sasuke followed Naruto out to the well in the backyard.

"Why? I thought you'd be into that." Naruto frowned. "You don't wanna sleep with someone all dirty, do you?"

Sasuke thought for a moment before an impish grin blossomed on his face, "You're right."

"Great, so it's settled." Naruto grinned taking the buckets full of water to the bathtub.

"Right, no more sex until you take a bath."

"Wait what? That's not what I meant!" Naruto protested.

"Better hurry up and draw that bath dobe." Sasuke grinned.

"Don't you wanna take one together?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"Hm, I suppose I _could _be persuaded."

"Score!" Naruto cheered drawing the bath much faster than before.

* * *

><p>"They've gotta be in that house," Kiba sat across from Kakashi in the small teashop occasionally casting a side glance toward the pale-eyed waitress. "And they're definitely together."<p>

"Well, this is a fine kettle of fish." Kakashi sighed exasperated. "Now, you and the rest will have to infiltrate a guards house without Tayuya and me. Good luck." Kakashi smiled.

"Wait! What? You're just gonna pass the buck like that! This is your fucking problem. You're the one that's gonna get found out if Uchiha doesn't get his pretty boy ass back home."

"Of course I'll still be in charge of this mission but if Tayuya and I are reported for infiltrating a guard's house with a bunch of rebels they'll tell the villages we served and we'll be transported there for a public hanging. So, this part I'll have to leave to you."

"Well what the hell are we supposed to do? You think it'll be any easier for us to infiltrate a guard's house? Ha!"

"If you don't like my solution what do you propose?" Kakashi raised his visible brow.

"I still think we can get that Hinata girl to give them up. Just give me a couple more dates with her and I'll break her. We'll play the concerned parent card, girls like that are suckers for that kinda shit."

"You just want to get some…but as long as it works have your cake and eat it too I suppose." Kakashi opened his book no longer interested in the conversation.

Kiba grinned waving over the waitress, "Hey Hinata-chan can we get the check?"

"O-of course, Kiba-san." Hinata smiled walking over and placing the check on the table.

"So Hinata-chan," Kiba leered leaning forward toward the blushing girl, "I was wondering if you'd like to go with me tonight."

"Oh," Hinata's blush deepened. "Um, s-sure, that s-sounds great."

"Great, I'll pick you up here at seven." Kiba said, "By the way have you met my friend Kakashi. He's in town on business," Kiba gestured toward Kakashi, "He's a guard for the Uchiha's their youngest has gone missing. I hear the mother's a real wreck…but I'm sure Kakashi will find him before anything happens. Kakashi's an excellent guard."

"We've met." Kakashi said not looking up from his book.

"Y-yes, h-hello, Kakashi-san…. Th-the mother, sh-she'll be a-alright, won't she?" Hinata sounded distressed.

"I doubt it." Kakashi sighed. "Her kids mean the world to her. Of course, she's not doing as bad as their older son. He and Sasuke were so close. But none of this is any of your concern."

"R-right," Hinata eyes were glossy with unshed tears.

"Hey don't cry on me," Kiba exclaimed, "Kakashi here will find 'im. There've been plenty of sightings in the area. Someone's bound to know where he is."

"B-but…wh-what will happen i-if he doesn't." Hinata asked.

"His mother and brother will probably commit suicide." Kakashi shrugged. This girl seemed like she'd buy that.

At that Hinata did start crying. "Th-that's terrible!"

"Whoa," Kiba stood up and wrapped a comforting arm around Hinata. "Kakashi," He scolded, "Don't say things like that to her. She shouldn't have to worry about something she has no control over."

"I was only answering, the question she asked." Kakashi said.

Hinata cried harder. She couldn't choose whether or not to tell them. It was absolutely horrible what Sasuke's family was going through but Sasuke and Naruto were so happy together. There was no way she could break them up. It would be devastating to both of them.

"Hey, hey," Kiba squeezed Hinata's arm affectionately, "Are you gonna be okay Hinata-chan? Do you need to take a break?"

"N-no, I-I'll be fi-fine." Hinata rubbed some of her tears away. She started to walk to the newest costumers at the teashop.

"Maybe this will work…. Although there's no doubt Sasuke's willing to play emotional cards too and we'll need to be able to top Naruto's little talks." Kakashi said.

"Maybe we can play the family card on Uchiha too. I mean the kid can't be completely heartless. If he thinks he mom's worried maybe he'll be persuaded to go home."

Kakashi nodded. "Sasuke does care about his family. At this point in time it's probably a decision between how he wants to be with more and what kind of life he wants to live. Even after serving the Uchihas for as long as I have I can't say for sure what he'll choose…and I'm sure he won't believe the suicide bit like Hinata seemed to."

"Well we'll just have to think of a more believable story."

Kakashi nodded.

* * *

><p>Naruto wore a satisfied smirk after his bath with Sasuke, but something had been bothering him. As he and Sasuke sat together on the couch he sighed. "Sasuke, do you think we'll have to be on the run from Kakashi forever?"<p>

Sasuke raised his head from Naruto's shoulder, "I don't know. They couldn't possibly waste resources on a fruitless search forever, but I doubt if we'll ever be able to live a normal life. I mean people will recognize us everywhere we go."

"That's too bad. I wish we didn't have to run from your family. I wanna meet 'em and I wish you could meet all of my friends too."

"I did meet your friends, when you were robbing my carriage remember?" Sasuke laid his head back down on Naruto's shoulder.

"That doesn't really count. We were _robbing_ you." Naruto chuckled.

"Yeah well it certainly doesn't make meeting them seem very desirable, but I would like to see my family again…at very least my mother. She'd like you I think."

"Yeah, I wish I could meet her too. Seems like it'd be nice. I'd really like to meet your whole family. Even if they don't like me."

"You don't want to meet my father dobe, and for that matter it'd probably be in your best interest to never meet my brother either. Not that there's any chance of that happening. If we keep up like this even I probably won't ever see them again." Sasuke frowned into Naruto's neck.

"I'm sorry." Naruto frowned. "Were you close to 'em?"

"My mother and I were, and my brother. He took care of me a lot when I was younger. I really looked up to him…until I grew up when I realized that he could marry who ever he wanted, within reason I mean, I resented him.

"He could fall in love and fuck up and he'd still be the favored son. The heir. It's hard not to hold that against someone, even when birth order isn't a choice…

"What about you dobe? Do you have any siblings? Anyone you miss?"

"Well, yeah, of course I miss people. I miss just about everyone at camp, but mostly just Kaa-chan, Sakura, Kiba, and Shikamaru.

"By the way, the fact that the oldest could marry anyone he wants and you couldn't really proves how fucked up your family is."

"Kaa-chan I thought you mother was dead? And we're no more fucked up than a bunch of pillaging vigilantes that willingly live in tents in the desert."

"Hey, my tent was my castle! It would've seemed comfortable to you too if you'd grown up in it and we're not," Naruto thought of all the people at the camp before finishing his thought, "that fucked up.

"And my mother did die, but Kaa-chan pretty much raised me after that. He was nice, but it's probably for the best that I don't see him again. I can't imagine how pissed off he is right now!"

"I'd like to meet the man that raise you," Sasuke smiled wistfully, "I bet he's a real piece of work."

"I don't know if you really want to meet him. He's probably just as pissed off at you as he is at me and he's _scary_ when he's pissed."

Sasuke straddled Naruto a mischievous smirk curling his lips, "I'm sure he'd forgive me when he saw how well I'd managed to whip you into shape."

"I'm not whipped!" Naruto protested.

Sasuke leaned down so his lips were mere centimeters away from Sasuke's, "Are you sure about that?"

"Well…not that whipped." Naruto kissed Sasuke passionately.

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto's neck and kissed back hard, "Mmm dobe, where will we live once we leave here? Where will we go?"

"Some little nowhere town. It'll have to be somewhere they've never even heard of, let alone would check."

"And just how the hell are we going to find a place like that?"

"You can usually find someplace like that if you just ride around aimlessly or look around the outskirts of bigger villages."

"My vote is for that latter and not the former." Sasuke situated himself in Naruto's lap, "We'd better get out of here soon. Neji is starting to get suspicious and if he knows something you could be in real trouble."

"Yeah, we just have to wait until Hinata is able to convince Kiba to tell everyone else we've already left. Then we can go wherever."

"If you sense anything dobe. If see anyone lurking around I want you to know you have my permission to leave me and go back with your comrades."

"Nuh-uh, I won't leave you ever, I already told you that."

"Don't be stupid dobe, we're staying in a guard's house. If he finds out who you are he'll kill you."

"I'd rather die then let him just take you to marry some bastard you don't even like. I'm not gonna run away with my tail between my legs at the first sign of trouble."

"Goddamn it usuratonkachi don't be so stubborn!" Sasuke screamed punching Naruto in the chest, "It's not cowardice to admit defeat, but it's fucking selfish to put yourself in a position where you could end up hanging in the town square because of me! How do you think I would feel if that happened?"

"Then you should know that it would be entirely my fault if that were to happen and if you feel even an ounce of guilt I'll come haunt you!"

Sasuke kissed Naruto deeply, "Just be careful. Try not to be as conspicuous as usual."

"I'm conspicuous?" Naruto blinked. "I thought I was really believable."

"Just kiss me you idiot."

Naruto grinned and pulled Sasuke into another kiss.

The sound of someone clearing their throat broke the two apart, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt." Neji's smile gleamed with unrestrained contempt and Sasuke was starting to regret not having made an ally of the man early on.

"Oh, hey, Neji. You're home pretty early." Naruto tried to mask his disappointment, but failed.

"You're right Naruto-san. I am a bit earlier than usual today. I was dismissed early. Orochimaru's men are in town investigating a rumor that Uchiha Sasuke is here and we've been told to stay out of his way."

Naruto paled a bit. He'd much rather be running from just Kakashi. They had emotional leverage with him and he'd only take Naruto back to camp, but Orochimaru would have Naruto hanged so fast his head would spin. Naruto still had not intention of leaving Sasuke, however. He was no coward. "Oh, must be nice to get some time off." Naruto said as coolly as possible.

"Usually I'd agree with you Naruto-san, but this Orochimaru business has the whole town on edge." Neji turned his attention to Sasuke, "You know it's a crime punishable by death to 'deflower' the bride of a noble man."

Naruto gulped, but instantly tried to calm himself down with the idea that Orochimaru wouldn't know because they wouldn't get caught.

"What makes you think Uchiha-san isn't a virgin?" Sasuke seethed.

"I'm just stating simple facts, but if in fact he did run away with a lover it is highly unlikely he's a virgin." Neji said.

"Nobody saw Uchiha-san run away for all we know he was kidnapped, and for that matter where would he meet this mysterious lover with all his time caught up with etiquette training and political teas. I can assure you any smart noble man knows how to keep his bride away from potential suitors." Sasuke glared at Neji.

"My, I'm very impressed by so much you know about higher clan politics." Neji smirked. "How did you come to acquire all this knowledge?"

"I was taught by a governess same as everyone else." Sasuke rebutted quickly.

"But you're knowledge seems much more intimate than even my own…almost like you actually came from a noble clan." Neji's smirk grew.

"I suppose you fancy yourself quite an expert, but let me tell you if you don't know even that kind of basic knowledge you're unfit to be a guard."

Neji growled. "I won't beat around the bush with you anymore Uchiha-san, you have to go back to Orochimaru-san immediately. It was a different story when I had all the time in the world to feel you out and make sure you are indeed Uchiha Sasuke, but now I must report you. You are putting Hinata and myself in great danger. I will not be charged for aiding and abetting so you can have a fling."

"Fuck you, what do you know about it? This isn't a fling and if you're so worried about the consequences of aiding and abetting then you'd do well not to turn us in because if you do I'll see to it you never see daylight again." Sasuke growled lunging forward.

"Whoa," Naruto held Sasuke back. "Sasu-chan, I'm not sure it's a good idea to hurt the guy who's considering to turn us in. You made your point."

"Hm, so much for all of those years of etiquette. Here, you are reduced to worthless threats. After all, let's not forget that Hinata would be submitted to whatever consequences I am." Neji smirk grew even more satisfied.

"Listen, douche bag, even if Sasuke doesn't make good on his threats, I'll make good on this one: if you turn us in, I will make you wish you weren't born! I'll gouge out those freaky fucking eyes and make you choke on them!" Naruto growled in Neji's face having released Sasuke.

"That's so cruel, Naruto-kun. And here, I was going to cut a deal with you two. But clearly you're only interested in petty threats. You're just common criminals." Neji spat.

Sasuke grit his teeth, "What deal?" He didn't really want to be making deals with the pupil-less bastard, but in the interest of keeping Naruto out of harms way he had to swallow his pride.

"The Uchiha comes back with me willingly and I don't turn Naruto along with him." Neji said.

"No way are we making a deal with the devil especially when we don't have to." Naruto growled.

"Give Naruto at least one week to get out of town and don't tell anyone about this affair and you've got a deal." Sasuke said.

"What? Sasuke, what are you doing?" Naruto yelled.

"Fine, I'm sure in the end you'll see this was best for everyone involved." Neji left the room.

Sasuke turned to Naruto his eyes wet with restrained tears, "I'm sorry dobe, but if Orochimaru's men are already here there's no way we'll get out undetected. If I go back now, before we're too wrapped up in this then you can still kept your hands clean."

"No! I won't go along with this! You have to come with me when I leave or I won't go anywhere!"

"But if I go with you Neji will —"

"Who gives a fuck about what Neji'll do? If you go with me Neji doesn't have shit!"

"Where will we go?"

"As far away as we can!"

"Do you think we'll be able to get out of town with Orochimaru's men everywhere."

"As long as we hide what you look like we'll be fine. It's our only shot."

Sasuke looked anxiously up at Naruto for a moment before smiling, "Okay, let's do it."

"Yes!" Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke grinning.

Sasuke kissed Naruto, "We'll leave tomorrow."

* * *

><p>Sasuke shook Naruto awake, having dressed an hour earlier he planned on waking Naruto while they still had the veil of night to mask their travel. "Naruto," Sasuke shook Naruto's shoulder harder. They needed to be out of this town as soon as possible if they aimed to evade capture, "Naruto! Oi dobe wake the hell up!" Sasuke kicked Naruto's side hard aiming to knock him out of bed, only succeeding in catapulting himself backward.<p>

"Nnnn," Naruto groaned. "What is it, Sasu-chan?"

"If you wanna leave here we'd better do it now while we still have the advantage of the dark."

"Right…" Naruto sat in bed a while longer before finally sitting up. "Kay, let's go."

Sasuke's eye twitched, "Don't you think you should get dressed first dobe."

"Nah, no one's gonna be out this time of night and I'm too tired." Naruto stood up and began walking towards the door.

"Dobe," Sasuke hissed curtly and gestured to his left, "The bags."

"Oh yeah," Naruto laughed picking the bags up. "Alright, _now_ let's go."

Sasuke followed behind Naruto mounting his horse as Naruto loaded their bags onto the satchels, "So where are we going?" Sasuke asked searching Naruto's face for any inkling of doubt.

"Uhhhh, the closet village to here is Mist. We can probably find somewhere pretty off the map if we go around the outskirts." Naruto mounted his horse and started to ride north.

Sasuke kicked his horse into a start and followed Naruto. How long would they have to run? Sasuke wasn't sure, but he was prepared to run forever.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**: You must now believe two things to appreciate the story. I need you to roll with me on this "fiction" kick I am on when I say: horse back riding doesn't make you miscarriage and Orochimaru is stupid.

Kakashi and Kiba occupied their usual table at the teashop. "We really have to find them soon." Kakashi said sternly. "This town is filled with guards and Naruto is an idiot. He'll get caught for sure…. And besides that, it'll look so much better to Uchiha-san if I bring Sasuke back." Kakashi smiled at the last bit.

"Ki-Kiba-san," Hinata said trying to look her fiercest. "Y-you need to l-leave."

"Ouch," Kakashi said.

"What? Why?" Kiba exclaimed looking completely befuddled at the girl's sudden change in attitude.

"I-I know th-that you're a," she looked around scanning the clients before whispering, "r-rebel. Th-this town h-has so many g-guards in it r-right now. Y-you'll get caught."

Kiba smiled, "Well thank you for your concern, but I assure you you've missed judged me. I'm no rebel as you seem to think."

"Y-yes, y-you are. N-Naruto-kun t-told me so." Hinata said confused.

"So you talked to Naruto about me? He still at your house?" Kiba asked grinning like a fool.

"N-no, h-he left a f-few nights ago. H-he a-asked me to stall y-you as l-long as possible b-but it's getting t-too dangerous. Pl-please leave."

"I'll make you a deal Hinata-chan. You tell us where Naruto and the Uchiha went and we'll be out of here faster than you can say 'I want Inuzuka Kiba.'"

"I-I would, b-but I d-don't know. I-it didn't even s-seem like they knew. S-sorry."

"Well then, there's really no reason to stay here any longer. Check please." Kakashi smiled.

Hinata nodded sadly and walked away.

Kiba turned to Kakashi, "Do you really think she doesn't know?"

"It seems likely. Naruto's ideas are always half-baked. He probably didn't know. Although, it does seems like Sasuke would make him think it through though. There seems to be a fifty/fifty chance."

"Well I guess our best bet is to split into search teams. We'll find them one way or another."

* * *

><p>Sasuke bent over the chamber pot spilling the contents of his stomach into it. It was roughly one in the morning in the second week of the third month they'd been living together and this was the fifth night Sasuke been up sick.<p>

Naruto who had been awakened by Sasuke's vomiting crouched down to rub his back. "We should take you to see a doctor." Naruto said.

"I'm fine dobe." Sasuke said sitting up and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"No, you're not! This has been going on for way too long! Tomorrow I'm taking you to a doctor if I have to take you kicking and screaming!"

"It's just a little flu dobe. They'll laugh us out of the infirmary." In the back of his mind even Sasuke didn't believe that. He was tired all the time. He'd get dizzy for no reason and even despite all his vomiting he was still insatiably hungry.

"You can tell them I made you go if they laugh but I'm taking you to a doctor." Naruto said sternly.

Sasuke opened his mouth to protest, but all that came up was dinner. He guessed he would be going to the doctor after all.

* * *

><p>Naruto fidgeted anxiously in the doctor's office as they waited for the doctor to come back. "What the hell is taking so long? Do you think it's bad that it's taking this long?" Naruto started to panic.<p>

"Calm down dobe, I'm sure everything is fine." Sasuke said placing a comforting hand on Naruto's shoulder.

Dr. Shizune walked back into the room smiling at the couple. "Congratulations! You're going to be parents."

"Really? That's great!" Naruto grinned. "I'm gonna be a dad!" Naruto hugged Sasuke.

"I-I'm pregnant…w-with a baby." Sasuke's jaw dropped and his hands went to his stomach, "How far along am I?"

"About eight weeks." Shizune said.

"Aren't you happy, Sasu-chan?" Naruto frowned.

"Can you give us a minute?" Sasuke said to Shizune.

"Of course, I understand." Shizune left the room.

"Naruto…How can we bring a baby into this? We don't even know if this is a stable home? What if Kakashi or Orochimaru finds out where we are? What's going to happen if someone finds out you got me pregnant?"

"You're worrying too much. It's been months and no one has found us. We're gonna be okay. No one is gonna find us and if they do then we'll find a way out I promise." Naruto took Sasuke's hands in his and laced their fingers.

"What will we tell our kid?"

"Well, when he gets old enough to understand we've gotta tell him the truth, but when he's young we'll just tell him it's for work or something. Don't worry we can figure this out."

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto, "I'm still not certain about this. Once I'm into my third trimester we won't be able to travel and then what will we do if we're caught?"

"By the time you're in your third trimester, you'll probably be assumed dead and Kakashi probably won't chase us if no one is looking for you and even if you aren't then I'll come up with something."

Sasuke seemed to accept this and leaning his head on Naruto's shoulder said, "It might be nice to have a family like a common person. Funny, that's exactly what I was running away from, but now I think I like the idea."

"Now, you've got the right attitude about this!" Naruto grinned. "I love kids! I always wanted to be a dad! This'll be awesome!"

Shizune knocked on the door. "Have you talked everything out?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yup!" Naruto answered.

As she walked into the door she was relieved to find that they seemed rather happy about the idea now and her congratulations didn't seem so out of place.

* * *

><p>"I say we give up. Uchiha's family'll assume he's dead soon enough and as for Naruto," Kiba waved a dismissive hand. "I wouldn't wanna cock-block my best friend."<p>

All around the crammed tents jaws hit the floor (aside from that of Jiraiya who piped up with a 'here-here' and took another swig of sake). Lifting her head from her desk Tsunade spared only a momentary glare for Kiba before looking to Kakashi, "And what's your take on all this?"

"Well, to take an objective opinion," Kakashi stroked his chin as if in thought, "there are pros and cons to each option. It _is_ only a matter of time before Sasuke is presumed dead and Orochimaru starts searching for other suitors. However, if you take that route you have to take into account that the Uchiha clan would remain devastated. It's very likely it would take years for them to call off the search if they ever did. And of course, we would be losing Naruto who we all know is bound to do something stupid some day and get taken in for treason…and since Naruto has been gone morale around here has dropped quite a bit.

"But we've been searching for four or five months now and haven't found them. We need to take into consideration that we just don't have the resources to blow on chasing those two around for God knows how long. And we haven't had anything to chase lately. For all the information we have, they could be dead." Several gasps were heard at the idea and Kakashi amended his statement. "Of course, I don't think they are. It's highly unlikely and as always it's your decision Tsunade."

Tsunade sighed. Kakashi made a point giving up the search at this point my be beneficial to their end, but she had a soft spot for 'the brat' and she just couldn't let go. "We'll keep up at least another month. They're bound to be around here somewhere."

Kakashi nodded. "That's probably a good idea. They'd be in deep shit if they got caught by anyone else. It might be best if we search just until Orochimaru's men give up. After all, Sasuke is a big boy, he can handle his family."

Tsunade nodded, "Let's just hope if we're not the ones to find them then no one does. I'd hate to see what Orochimaru's men would do to Naruto."

Next to Kakashi, Iruka turned pale at the vision he'd created in his head. In an effort to comfort him, Kakashi put his arm around him. "Yes, that would be rather bad, but let's think of it this way: even if Orochimaru does catch him he'll want to make a public example out of him so there's no way his men would kill Naruto right then and there. We'd have a good week or so to put a plan together. But let's just hope we don't have to."

"I pray to God we don't." Tsunade shook her head, "You're all dismissed. Start searching and this time bring me back something useful."

* * *

><p>Naruto had taken to doing a multitude of things since learning Sasuke was pregnant some of which Sasuke wasn't too fond of. He had insisted the keep a chart of how big Sasuke's stomach grew by marking it on their walls, he would always talk to Sasuke's stomach, and he brought home foods Sasuke wasn't even craving….and then he'd eat them. But Naruto had never been happier.<p>

He was at the store buying Vienna sausages Sasuke hadn't asked for when a rude slap of reality hit him. Right there in the super market was Suigetsu.

When they realized each other's presence they both dropped what they'd been carrying and started yelling at each other.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Naruto yelled.

"This is Mist! I live here! You're supposed to be in Konoha!" Suigetsu yelled back.

"This. Never. Happened." Naruto said quickly regathering his things, paying, and leaving the store. Of course, Naruto didn't strike as much fear in Suigetsu as he thought he did. Suigetsu didn't really give a damn what Naruto said, he wanted the respect that came with finding him so maybe just maybe everyone would stop calling him a 'perverted pothead'.

Leaving his things on the floor Suigetsu ran off in the direction of camp.

Suigetsu burst into the main tent at the Mist camp were several of his comrades were conferring on the latest mission. "There's no need to thank me." Suigetsu said taking an exaggerated bow, "I'm just doing my duty."

"Suigetsu, what the hell are you talking about?" Karin asked scathingly.

"You know how the Leaf team's been bothering us about helping them find that guy and the Uchiha that ran off together? Well, being the concerned friend I went out to find them and that's just what I did. Now, now, I know you all want to smother me with gratitude so I'll say it now, I accept money and hot men."

"What?" Karin screamed indignantly, "You actually did something useful? There's no way."

"Shows what you know, I've been tracking them since I first learned they ran off. After all, Uchiha's ass belongs to me! I'm going to bring him here and celebrate before we give him to Leaf." Suigetsu smirked putting his grocery bag full of liquor and condoms on the table.

"You are di—"

"Stop fighting you two." The woman at the head of the tent screamed, "Suigetsu, if you've found them then quit fooling around and tell us where they are."

"Oh well, I actually ran into that Leaf guy at the grocery store in that town on the outskirts of Mist. I guess they're living around there or something."

"You didn't find them at all!" Karin protested, "You just happened to run into that guy in the store!"

"Listen, Karin, it's understandable that you're upset that you didn't find them. You've just gotta face it I'm better than you so stop being a bitch about it!"

"Enough!" The woman screamed, "Suigetsu you're going to tell us where this grocery store is and we're going to search the surrounding area immediately.

"Karin I want you to contact Leaf and tell them about this."

"Wait, we can't let the Leaf guys get here before we find them! I won't get my celebration!" Suigetsu yelled.

"Suigetsu he's been living with another man for nearly six months. I don't think he wants to celebrate with you." The woman deadpanned.

"Not that he'd want to even if he hadn't." Karin mumbled.

"Go!" The woman screamed, "If the Leaf nin saw you then they could already be leaving."

"Fine, we'll go look. Jeez, someone is riding the cotton pony." Suigetsu said.

* * *

><p>Kakashi sighed as he walked into Tsunade's tent. They hadn't found anything again. This search was getting a little tiresome. If they couldn't find them he doubted anyone else would but he knew full well Tsunade wouldn't just let Naruto go. "Tsunade," Kakashi began, "we haven't found anything new it's really getting time to give this up."<p>

"Sit down," Tsunade gestured for Kakashi to take the seat across from her desk, "We're ending the search Kakashi."

Kakashi was slightly taken aback by how easy it had been to convince her. "I'm glad you finally agree."

Tsunade shook her head, "No we're giving up the search because they've already been found. In a village outside of Mist, Suigetsu found them and the Mist nins have been watching them closely to make sure they don't move ever since. They are waiting for your arrival."

"Suigetsu found them? Really? We search for months and he found them?" Kakashi shook his head. "Alright, I guess I'll leave tonight."

* * *

><p>Sasuke was laying down on the bed trying to eat his ramen (which he'd had an insatiable craving for these past two weeks) in peace while Naruto baby talked to his stomach.<p>

"Well, isn't this cute?" Kakashi smiled at them.

"K-Kakashi? What the hell are you doing here?" Naruto yelled.

"I've come to take you two back to where you belong. Honestly, haven't you had your fun by now?"

"I can't go back home." Sasuke said sternly looking Kakashi dead in the eye.

"And why is that?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"I'm pregnant."

Kakashi just stared at Sasuke in disbelief and no one said anything until he'd completely processed the information. "Are you serious?"

Naruto grinned. "Yeah, Kakashi, I'm gonna be a dad, isn't that great?"

"No, that's terrible! It was exactly what we were trying to avoid!" Kakashi took a moment to calm himself down. "Okay, let's try to figure this out. How far along are you?"

"Roughly nine weeks." Sasuke said.

"Alright, it could be a lot worse. Here's what's going to happen. Sasuke is going to go back to Sound and marry Orochimaru as soon as possible. We might be able to convince him that baby was born premature….but then it wouldn't be as healthy. Oh well, we'll work out the kinks later, right now you need to go home. Both of you."

"Hell no!" Naruto yelled. "We're staying right here! We've finally got a normal family life going on!"

"You can't really ask me to raise my child with someone who's practically a stranger." Sasuke said.

"Have you two even stopped to consider the consequences? What if we hadn't been the ones to find you? What if it had been Orochimaru? Naruto would have been killed without a second thought, you would be married to him even if he knew you weren't a virgin, and he'd know that child doesn't belong to him. If he even lets the kid live, he may just give it to a servant. You wouldn't have any contact with it. Really, raising a kid with a stranger is the least of your worries. This plan is for the best."

Tears began to run down Sasuke's cheeks as a combination of hormones and the horrific picture Kakashi had painted, "I-I…my baby will never know it's real father."

"Would you rather the child's father be dead or just absent from the child's life?" Kakashi asked.

"Hey, Kakashi, stop being a buzz kill." Naruto scolded Kakashi before turning to Sasuke and wrapping his arms around him. "Sasu-chan, it's okay. I told you we'd never get caught. This isn't something we have to worry about."

"We already have been," Sasuke sobbed harder. "Maybe-maybe we should just go with him."

"No, teme! C'mon, don't let him get to you. He's just saying all the 'what-ifs' none of this is likely. Just calm down and think about it."

"It's likely." Kakashi said.

"Kakashi, shut up!"

Sasuke wiped the tears from his eyes, "I'll go with you Kakashi."

"No, Sasuke, you can't! You'll have to marry Orochimaru! You'll have to raise our kid with him!"

"At least you'll still be alive and Orochimaru can give our baby a good life. He'll give him all the advantages we can't." Sasuke said leaning into Naruto. "I'd much rather raise our baby with you, but if our options are really what Kakashi says they are then I have to think about what's best for our baby. I can't take the risk that Orochimaru will kill our baby."

"But our options aren't what Kakashi says they are. C'mon Sasuke, I love you and I love our kid I don't want to give either of you up to a bastard like Orochimaru."

"Well then what do you suggest we do dobe?" Sasuke said frustrated.

"Let's just stay here. Everything Kakashi is saying is just if they find us and if we stay put I know they won't. We can just pretend this visit never happened."

"But Kakashi found us." Sasuke protested.

"That's only 'cause Suigetsu is out here and he saw us. Orochimaru doesn't have men that live out in Mist."

"Yet, but it's only a matter of time." Sasuke said.

"Don't think like that." Naruto frowned.

"How should I think?" Sasuke said.

"Naruto, Sasuke is thinking realistically it would do you good to do the same. We'll leave tonight." Kakashi said.

Naruto just growled thinking Sasuke would never actually go through with this. He wouldn't leave him for some freak.

Sasuke nodded, "I'm sorry dobe."

* * *

><p>Kakashi walked into the room where Sasuke had just finished packing. "Are you ready to go?" He asked.<p>

Sasuke nodded bending over to pick up his things, placing a hand on his back to support himself, "I'm ready." He said pulling himself up.

Kakashi nodded, taking Sasuke's bags from him. "Let's go." They walked out into the living room where Naruto lay on the couch. "Come on, Naruto. It's time to go."

Naruto childishly ignored him. After all, what the hell was Kakashi going to do? Force him? Naruto was had an inch and thirty pounds of pure muscle on him.

"Sasuke is leaving whether you do or not so acting like a child isn't going to get you anywhere." Kakashi said.

Naruto turned his back to them.

"Naruco," Sasuke looked at Naruto with pleading eyes, "Come on, you're being ridiculous. Let's just go home before things get out of hand. Think about the baby, you don't want Orochimaru to kill our baby do you?"

"Of course not! Who the hell would want that?" Naruto yelled spinning around to look at Sasuke. Gritting his teeth he got up from the couch. "Alright, if you really think this is best Sasuke then we can go back." He went and got the bag Sasuke had made him pack hours before and they left the house.

The two followed Kakashi out of their house and mounted their horses. "How far is it to Sound?" Sasuke asked pointedly looking away from his lover.

"We need to go back to camp first to report to Tsunade. That trip will probably take about five days and we'll probably stay there a day. Then it'll be much easier to just take you back to your family since Konoha is only about a couple hours away. Your mother will be very relieved." Kakashi said.

Sasuke nodded, "And what will we do about the pregnancy. We can't tell anyone what really happened and I won't give up my child."

"No one will make you give up your child I won't allow it. I have a few stories I'm considering, but I think I'll have to talk to Tsunade about it when we get to camp. You can just leave everything to us from now on." Kakashi smiled.

"Alright," Sasuke said hesitantly.

* * *

><p>It was about five and a half days before the trio reached the rebel camp and as expected they did not receive the warmest welcome. "You spoiled little bastard!" Kiba screamed pointing an accusing finger at Sasuke, "You come up here and flaunt the goods in Naruto's face just to get out of your marriage! What kind of red-blooded man can say no to sex! You almost got him killed you tease, not to mention that you nearly got Hinata-chan arrested!"<p>

"K-Kiba-kun t-that's enough. I offered t-to help Sasuke-san and Naruto." Hinata, whose presence confused both Sasuke and Naruto, stuttered out.

"It was a real drag chasing you two around. We wasted a lot of time and resources on—" Shikamaru began only to be cut off by a livid Sakura.

"Yeah we wasted a lot of time on your Goddamn antics," Sakura's fist shot out to hit Naruto in the head, "and we…hey are you okay you look kinda pale?" As soon as the words left Sakura's mouth Sasuke was bent over puking.

Naruto rubbed Sasuke's back and Kakashi explained. "There's something you all should probably know. Sasuke is pregnant." Jaws dropped and an awkward silence ensued. "As you can imagine it's very important I talk to Tsunade so take care of Sasuke."

Surprisingly it was Hinata that broke the silence, "Con-congratulations Sasuke and you too Naruto."

"Is that really something you should be saying considering the circumstance?" Shikamaru deadpanned.

"Thanks, Hinata-chan. I actually am happy about it." Naruto said. "Well, I was happier when I was going to get to meet him."

"You will not get to meet your own child?" Lee who had just arrived yelled. "That is such a terrible thing for you to experience in the springtime of your youth! I am sorry, Naruto! Hug!" Lee came towards Naruto with open arms but Sakura stopped him from actually hugging Naruto.

"Lee stop," Sakura said, "Can't you see you're not helping." She gestured as subtly as possible to a crying Sasuke.

"I think I need to lye down." Sasuke said doing his best to keep his voice flat.

"You can come to my tent." Naruto picked Sasuke up bridal-style and began to carry him away.

"This is crap," Kiba said to the rest of the group left standing in Naruto's wake, "They lead us on a wild goose chase for months and we've gotta be nice to them just because Naruto knocked the princess up."

"K-Kiba-kun," Hinata scolded. "Y-you shouldn't speak so h-harshly about your best friend a-and his lover when they're going through such a hard time." Hinata looked sadly at the direction Naruto had walked off in as she spoke.

"It is kind of bull shit." Shikamaru agreed.

"Well I feel bad for them," Sakura said piously, "It must be hard to know you'll never meet your own child or to have to raise your baby with someone you don't care for."

"I agree with Sakura-chan!" Lee yelled. "I could not imagine having to do either of those things especially never seeing Sakura-chan again! It is the tragedy of our time!"

"They made their bed and now they have to lye in it." Kiba said.

Shikamaru nodded. "They should have thought about the consequences of their actions before running away together."

"You two are so callous!" Lee yelled in distaste. "To make up for your lack of sympathy you must do five hundred laps around the camp on your hands! I shall join you!"

* * *

><p>Naruto sat on a mound of pillows in his tent. Sasuke and he had barely said anything to each other since leaving Mist not that either of them wanted it that way. Naruto just couldn't help brooding at the thought of never seeing Sasuke again or never meeting his child and he imagined Sasuke was having similar thoughts. It was then that a sudden realization hit Naruto. This was their last day together and he was just going to spend it sulking. No, he wanted Sasuke to leave with a better impression of their relationship than that.<p>

Naruto joined Sasuke on the bed he was lying on and wrapped his arms around him. "Sasuke, I'm sorry about the way these last few days have been going, but let's stop acting so sad, okay? When you think of the last day we spent together I want you to remember something happier." Naruto kissed lightly on the lips.

Sasuke kissed back gently, "I wish I didn't have to leave, but I can't put our child through what you had to go through. I won't subject our child to a life without a father."

"I guess this really is best, but I'm really gonna miss you, Sasu-chan."

Sasuke cuddled into Naruto, "I wish we could have stayed in our house, raised our baby together." Sasuke's voice held an edge of melancholy, "Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl?"

"A boy I hope. I've always really wanted a son but it doesn't really matter." Naruto frowned as he continued. "Hey, Sasu-chan, will you do me a favor?"

"What is it dobe?"

"I want you to make sure our kid knows I really love him…or her. Even if I don't get to meet it, I think it's important for it to know."

Sasuke nodded, "You can name it. If you want. If you can think of one before I leave."

"I'd love to name it." Naruto's face brightened a bit at the idea. "Maybe if I can't think of anything good before you have to leave you can stay longer."

Sasuke smiled, "I don't think Kakashi will go for that."

"Kakashi's a softy deep down, I could convince him." Naruto smiled.

"If I stay too much longer I'll be too pregnant to go back. I'll be showing soon."

"Yeah, I wish I could see it. It's too bad Kaa-chan's away on a mission, you could have met him."

"Yeah," Sasuke sighed wistfully, "Let's not think about it. There's nothing we can do about it now."

"Yeah." Naruto pulled Sasuke closer to him. "To think all of this happened because you chased me down for a comb."

The was a moment of silence and then some shuffling about on Sasuke's part, "Here," Sasuke said pressing the little jade comb into Naruto's hand, "Keep it."

Naruto smiled at the comb before looking up to Sasuke. "Are you sure? I thought it was family heirloom or something."

"It is," Sasuke smiled at Naruto, "but it means more to you."

Naruto hugged Sasuke tightly. "I love you, Sasu-chan, and I always will I promise."

"I love you too Naruco," Sasuke said hugging Naruto back just as tightly.

"Sorry to interrupt," Kakashi said from his place in the doorway. "I thought we should start heading out now, Sasuke."

Sasuke nodded and kissing Naruto lightly on the lips stood, "Bye Naruto."

"Bye Sasuke," Naruto gave him a melancholy smile. He stood up and hugged him holding him for much longer than necessary really only letting go when Kakashi cleared his throat.

Kakashi lead Sasuke out of the tent, carrying Sasuke's bags for him and helped him onto the horse.

"Thank you Kakashi," Sasuke nodded toward the masked man, "Did you figure out what we are going to tell Orochimaru and my parents?"

"Of course I told you to leave everything to me, didn't I?" Kakashi smiled.

"So what are we going to tell them?"

"Well, when you and Orochimaru met previously you had sex and now you're pregnant but Orochimaru doesn't remember because he was very drunk which isn't untrue. You remember that Orochimaru did get very drunk that night and didn't remember anything the next day."

"But I've been gone for nearly six months and I'm three months pregnant."

"The second Orochimaru hears he had sex with you I doubt he'll be thinking of anything else."

"I suppose it's our only option." Sasuke said, "I just want to go home."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Kakashi's plan is ridiculous, which is why shit hits the fan next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**: This is a pretty intense chapter! Enjoy.

Kakashi bowed in front of Fugaku whose eyes were fixed on Sasuke who stood behind him. Fugaku was in complete disbelief. He hadn't thought Kakashi had really been doing anything all that time he was gone. "Uchiha-san," Kakashi began, "I found your son while he was on the run from rebels in a town on the outskirts of Mist."

"My son!" Mikoto cried running over to Sasuke and throwing her arms around him.

"Good work, Hatake. I clearly underestimated your dedication and for that I am sorry."

"Thank you, sir, but there is one thing you should be aware of." Kakashi said hesitantly.

Sasuke looked down ashamed waiting for Kakashi let loose the blow. "What is it Hatake?" Fugaku finally spoke up.

"Sasuke-san says in Mist he went to see a doctor and he is…pregnant."

"Oh no! N-not with a-a…" Mikoto didn't dare say the last word.

"Upon questioning Sasuke said a rebel never touched him inappropriately before he was able to escape. The only person Sasuke-san said he was with intimately was Orochimaru-san." Kakashi answered.

"But Sasuke hasn't seen Orochimaru in over six months," Itachi said. "He can't possibly be that pregnant."

Sasuke spoke hesitantly, "T-The doctor says sperm has a self life of up to three months." Sasuke didn't think that was true, but he didn't think his family would know either way.

"I see," said Itachi, "Well then congratulations Sasu-chan."

Sasuke nearly broke out in tears at his brother's choice of endearment. "Thank you Nii-san."

"I'm so happy!" Mikoto cheered. "But you'll need to get married before you get big! Someone has to contact Orochimaru!"

"I'll do it first thing tomorrow," Fugaku said.

"If you don't mind I think I'd like to lye down," Sasuke said.

Mikoto nodded. "Of course you do! You've been through so much and while being pregnant!"

"Sir, may I be dismissed?" Kakashi asked.

"Of course," Fugaku said.

Kakashi walked out of the room with Sasuke and just as they parted ways said, "It really is for the best."

Sasuke said nothing just lay down on his bed feeling nauseous, something, which could have been caused either by pregnancy or nerves, Sasuke couldn't tell. As he lye there the door creaked open in and footsteps approached the side of his bed.

"So whose is it?" His brother's disembodied voice floated over to him.

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke said monotone giving him away.

"Sasuke, I have two children. I think I know quite a bit about pregnancy and I do just happen to know sperm only has a shelf life of seven days. Who's really the father?"

"You don't think dad knows do you?" Sasuke said turning around to face his brother.

"I doubt it. I'm sure he's a bit too caught up in the political aspect of everything to believe anything else."

"You think Orochimaru will buy it?" Sasuke said

"That pervert will probably be too caught up with the sex that didn't actually happen to think about anything else. Is that why Kakashi used this plan?"

"What makes you think Kakashi had anything to do with it?"

"I suspect that he is a snoop. Not that I'm mad about it. I actually think he's rather clever about it. I thought I was the only person that'd ever realize it but apparently you did too."

"It's not his if that's what you think."

Itachi smirked. "Well then there goes that theory, but it is someone in his rebellion, isn't it?"

"What difference does it make? As of right now it's Orochimaru's and no one will ever know any different."

Itachi nodded. "That's probably best for the child…and let's be honest a rebel father wouldn't be very useful."

"That's not true!" Sasuke screamed, "Na—If the circumstances had been different he would have been a great father. You should have seen him when we found out I was pregnant," Sasuke smiled, regretful. "He took great care of me too. He used to talk to my stomach and—"

"Sasu-chan, he was a rebel, no doubt as socially inept as Kakashi and there was no way he could have provided for it. I am glad you were able to experience at least infatuation before marrying Orochimaru though."

"He wasn't socially inept." Sasuke sulked, "He would have been a great father."

"I suppose I won't ruin your image of him." Itachi said. "But time heals all wounds. Don't worry you'll get over him." Itachi patted Sasuke on the shoulder before walking out of the room.

* * *

><p>As soon as Orochimaru had heard the news he rushed to Konoha traveling through the night and stopping for nothing. He now sat on the couch across from Sasuke leering and looking smugly down at Sasuke's abdomen.<p>

"I'm glad you could make it on such short notice Orochimaru-san. Naturally under the circumstances you understand our rush to have you two married."

"Naturally," Orochimaru's smirk grew, "I'm glad to see you're back unharmed Sasu-chan."

Sasuke cringed inconspicuously, "I'm happy to be home as well Orochimaru-san."

"No need for formalities now that we're about to be married Sasu-chan. Please just call me Orochimaru."

"Yes Orochimaru." Sasuke said tonelessly.

"Well, because you two need to be married so quickly I took it upon myself to start the wedding plans. Of course anything you two don't agree with can be changed." Mikoto said.

"I believe this is more of a mother/son thing. I'm sure anything you two pick will be perfect." Orochimaru said.

"I appreciate your help mother. I have been quiet tired lately with the strain of travel and the…pregnancy." Sasuke practically whispered the last word.

"If you don't think it too bold of me Sasuke-san I would just like to share my favorite names for your child," Kakashi said from the corner where he was supposed to be looking for assassins. "I think if it were to be a girl Hitomi would be nice and for a boy Minato. But it is just an opinion and it's your decision."

Sasuke smiled knowingly, "No Kakashi-san, I don't think it too bold at all. In fact those are perfect names."

"I'm glad you think so." Kakashi smiled.

"Well, I suppose if Sasu-chan likes them then they are perfect." Orochimaru said secretly very happy with how quickly everything seemed to be moving along. He'd be holding 'his child' and working for a second in no time.

Mikoto looked a bit confused, but decided better of asking, "Well now that all that's settled I hope you two don't mind if I borrow Sasuke for a while. There are some details of the ceremony that I'd like to go over with him."

"Of course not. I should take this opportunity to get acquainted with my father-in-law anyway." Fugaku nodded and he and Orochimaru left the room.

Sasuke stood and followed his mother out of the room mumbling about how creepy it was to be older than your father-in-law.

"So, I want to meet him." Mikoto smiled at Sasuke.

"Meet who?" Sasuke did his best to turn his shock into confusion.

"Sasu-chan, you can not feed your mother some bull cocky story about getting pregnant three months after the fact! I want to meet the real father!"

"You can't," Sasuke started to weep, "Jesus fucking hormones!"

"It's okay, Sasuke." Mikoto wrapped her arms around Sasuke. "I don't mind if he's of lowly birth or anything like that."

"Even if he was a…a rebel." Sasuke sniffed.

Mikoto paused in shock. "Well, that's a different story. I thought we were talking about someone you met on the run from rebels."

"I wasn't on the run from rebels mom. I was on the run with one. We had an affair and that's how I got pregnant. I wasn't forced into anything."

Mikoto sighed, "I was hoping someone in the family could marry for love but this is a little too difficult. We can't allow rebels in our cities. It's unsafe."

Sasuke nodded, "I understand. Can you forgive me?"

"Oh Sasu-chan, I'm not mad about it. It's okay if you fell in love with a rebel. I'm just upset I can't meet him and that you can't be with him."

"You would have liked him." Sasuke said, "Everyone liked him."

"I'm sure I would have…let's not talk about anything so sad though."

Sasuke nodded, "Yeah, what's done is done right? Let's plan a wedding."

"Yes, we have very important matters to attend to. For example, should we even try to put you in white?"

"What? Of course I'm going to wear white!" Sasuke huffed, "Just because we know I'm pregnant doesn't mean everyone else has to."

"Alright." Mikoto said skeptically. She knew Sasuke would regret that on his wedding day when Itachi would make comments left and right.

* * *

><p>Wrapped in silken brocade and flower garlands with a diaphanous shroud veiling his face from view Sasuke felt he looked more like a temple sacrifice than a bride. The irony certainly didn't escape him.<p>

He felt a wrenching on his arm and hastened to fall into step with his father, looking pointedly past the gray-tinted man waiting for him at the end of the aisle. A nagging voice in the back of his head reminded him that even if he didn't look now he was going to have to tonight, but Sasuke squashed it, focusing instead on the smell of singed leaves and cool air. This would be his last autumn in Konoha, he may as well embrace it while he could.

Sasuke's arm dropped to his side, his cue to stop walking and wait for his turn to speak.

"Dearly Beloved…" The Priest began to the staccato of horse's in the distant, "We are gathered," The cantering sound grew louder to the point of distraction and across from him Orochimaru looked irritated, "To join together in holy matrimony…"

"I-it's Kyuubi!" One of the guards yelled instantly causing panic to spread through the crowd.

"I object!" Naruto yelled as he rode up to the ceremony.

Sasuke's head flew in the direction of the voice, his veil catching and snagging in the process, "Dobe." He muttered.

"Uchiha-san." One of Orochimaru's men had grabbed him by the elbow and was attempting to lead him toward the temple, "Come on, it's not safe for you out here."

Kakashi sighed already exasperated just watching Naruto be an idiot. 'I knew this was going to happen.' He thought as he ran with the other guards to attack Naruto.

Naruto refused to stop for anything; riding his horse straight down the aisle Sasuke had been walking down moments before. The murderous look in his eyes and the speed he rode his horse at while galloping to the guards was more than enough to drive them back and it seemed he reached the temple Sasuke had been dragged to rather easily.

Dismounting his horse he ran into the temple with his sword unsheathed and ready for a fight. However it was not a fight that greeted Naruto, it was a shaking guard and Sasuke. He pointed his sword at the guard's neck. "Leave. Now." Naruto growled at him.

The man looked back and forth from Naruto to Sasuke before saying, "I-I can't leave him to the likes of you," with as much conviction as he could muster.

Kakashi entered the temple walking over to the three. "You can leave. I've got this." He told the man who eagerly complied.

"Dobe what are you doing here?" Sasuke seethed as soon as the other man had taken his leave.

"Teme, I changed my mind. I can't let you marry that creepy asshole! I just can't! Come back with me we'll work it out!"

Kakashi merely allowed the scene to play out as he reached to get his book from his back pocket.

"I can't." Sasuke said as flatly as he could manage, "This is best for both of us."

"Sasu-chan, please," Naruto pleaded with the eye of a kicked puppy. "Come home. This can't be best."

Kakashi looked out the door to see the same man that ran out of the temple leading a group of guards toward the temple. "You need to get out of here, Naruto."

"No, damn it! I'm not done talking to Sasuke!" Naruto screamed.

"Yes you are." Sasuke said pushing Naruto toward the back door just as the guards walked in.

"Unhand Uchiha-san," The guard in the front said gallantly.

"I'm not handing him! He's handing me!" Naruto protested. He spun out of Sasuke's grasp to face the band of guards grasping his sword and assuming a fighting position. "I did come to take Sasuke back though so if you've gotta problem with that then I'll be more than happy to fight you for him."

The guards charged Naruto and Fugaku and Itachi came in the back, "Sasuke get out of here." Itachi said grabbing Sasuke's arm and pulling him toward the doors. The sudden jerk threw Sasuke off balance and he fell face first out to the ground grabbing his stomach on instinct.

"You bastards! Stop being so rough with him! He's pregnant!" Naruto screamed at Itachi and Fugaku while simultaneously trying to fight off the guards.

Sasuke gaped, opening and closing his mouth like a fish for a moment before passing out cold.

"Oh fuck! Sasu-chan, are you alright?" Naruto yelled running over to Sasuke. Unfortunately, Fugaku and Itachi stopped him in his tracks.

"And just who are you?" Itachi said stonily.

Naruto froze. It really shouldn't have been such a hard question but this was his first time meeting Sasuke's family and worse it was the part of the family Sasuke said he would be lucky to never meet. "Uh, well, it seems like I'm pretty well known around here, but I want you to know that I'm really not a bad guy. I really cared about Sasuke and that's the only reason I came. I don't mean anyone any harm it's just that Sasuke would never be happy with Orochimaru."

"You don't know anything about Sasuke or our family or even the politics you claim to resent so much for that matter! This is why we hang people like you!" Fugaku yelled.

"Consider yourself under arrest." Itachi said, "And take your disgusting hands off my brother."

Naruto growled, "I told you I didn't come here to do anything except help your brother! Or are your fucking principles really that out of order?"

"Enough," Mikoto, who had walked into the temple looking for Sasuke, screamed, "Standing around and arguing like this won't help Sasuke. We need to get him somewhere where he can lye down."

"Right," Kakashi said as he walked over and took Sasuke out of Naruto's arms. "Uchiha-san, this man is only a fool. I suggest for now we just let him go so we can focus on getting Sasuke-san medical attention. He can't do any real damage anyway."

"I will not let a treasonous rat get away no matter how stupid he is! You two take Sasuke to a doctor with Orochimaru and Itachi and I will make this arrest." Fugaku said holding Naruto at sword point.

Kakashi grit his teeth as he nodded and walked out of the temple with Mikoto.

"Father are you sure you don't need any help with this?" Itachi said

"On second thought, you may be useful Itachi. Please, assist me." Fugaku said as he took a sword from a guard to hold it to Naruto's neck. "Drop your weapon."

Naruto begrudgingly obeyed.

Fugaku motioned for a guard to cuff Naruto, "I want you to know that I don't care if that is your child my son is carrying. He will be raised as Orochimaru's and no one who wasn't in this room will be the wiser."

"Bastard!" Naruto yelled. "It's political figures like you that made me a rebel!" Naruto spat at Fugaku.

Wiping the spit off himself Fugaku took a step toward Naruto, "I'll see to it you never touch my son or anyone else again. Take him away," Fugaku said to the guard.

Naruto squirmed in the guard's hold so much that several more guards had to help take him in. "You fucking asshole! You'll never be able to kill me! I'm going to get out of here and I'll take Sasuke with me!"

* * *

><p>Sasuke woke up in a bed somewhere within Orochimaru's manor accompanied by Kakashi, his mother and some nameless nurse. "What happened?" He groaned rubbing his aching head, "Where's…what did they do with Naruto?" Sasuke tried to raise himself from the bed.<p>

"Please Uchiha-san," the nurse came over with a glass of water, "don't strain yourself. The stress could be detrimental to you in your…condition."

Mikoto sighed relieved. "Thank God, you finally woke up. I was so worried. Lye back down, honey. You need to rest."

Sasuke did not heed their warnings, "What happened? Someone tell me what's going on."

"Uchiha-san, please calm down." The nurse begged, "The stress is bad for the baby."

"She's right, honey. Please, get some more rest. If not for yourself then for the baby." Mikoto said.

Sasuke lay back down, "I'm sorry. I just don't think I can rest until I know what's happened."

Mikoto turned to the nurse, "Could you give us some privacy please?"

The nurse nodded and turned to exit the room, "Please try and rest Uchiha-san." She said before taking her leave.

"So was the blond the real father?" Mikoto asked hesitantly.

"Yes." Sasuke said simply, "He is."

Mikoto bit her lip as she tried to think of what she should tell Sasuke. "You should get some rest. I'm sure everything will work out."

"You can't let them kill him. It's the only reason I agreed to leave. If he gets killed it's all for nothing."

"I don't think you should worry about him, Sasuke-san. I hear rebels are very close to everyone in their group. They won't let him die, I'm sure of it." Kakashi said.

Sasuke looked at Kakashi gratefully, "Thank you Kakashi. That's quite a comfort."

Mikoto was once again confused by Kakashi and Sasuke's conversation but decided against asking. "Well, you should try to relax now. The wedding has been postponed until this whole mess is figured out and even if the rebels don't come through for the father I'll see if I can convince your father not to kill him at the very least."

"Thank you," Sasuke nearly whispered rolling over on his side, "I think I'll try and sleep now."

"Alright honey," Mikoto kissed Sasuke's cheek and started out the door motioning for Kakashi to follow.

* * *

><p>Naruto had been taken to a small dark room still cuffed. It felt like he'd been sitting there forever and it was starting to make him nervous. It's not as if he didn't know what was going on. Tsunade had always made it very clear what would happen if one of them was captured. This was the interrogation stage. They were going to ask him why he came and interrupted the wedding and where his group is, etc. He was confident he could handle this much. There was no way he was selling anyone out.<p>

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting a scarred and angry looking man entered the room.

"Kyuubi, huh?" The man said solemnly, "Funny you weren't on the guest list. Tell me just what are you doing at Orochimaru-san's wedding?"

"I wasn't on the list? Here, I thought we were all such good friends." Naruto growled.

"Don't fuck with me kid!" The large man slammed his hands on the table before Naruto, "What did you want with Uchiha-san?"

"I won't tell you shit." Naruto growled. "Your cheap intimidation won't work on me."

"I beg to differ," The man said laughing bitterly, "You're going to tell me everything I want to know. In fact you're going to lead me straight to your hide out…if you ever want to see your son that is."

Naruto looked at the man in shock. "I can see him?"

The man smirked, "That depends, are you willing to cooperate?"

Naruto stopped to think. He'd almost lost all hope of ever meeting his son and now they were willing to let him meet his son. But he couldn't sell his friends out. He may not be able to meet his son but Sakura and Lee should be able to raise their kids and so should Hinata and Kiba. Besides, how could Naruto sell out the people that had raised him? His father and mother chose death over selling out the camp and so would he. "Fuck you! My son will always know that I loved him! I don't have to meet him to know that!"

"So you're not going to work with us then? I'm really sorry we couldn't work things out kid. You know I'm a family man myself and I know my wife was real broke up when we lost our first pregnancy. I imagine it'll be even worse for someone as young as Uchiha-san."

"What? You're not going to let Sasuke keep his baby! Why the fuck not?"

"What man wants to raise a baby that's not his? You honestly think Orochimaru wants to be responsible for your bastard child? We're not just gonna give the baby away, figuring out what to do with him and explaining Uchiha-san's pregnancy would be too much of a nuisance. No, have you ever heard of something called prematurely induced labor? Looks just like a miscarriage, even Uchiha-san won't know the difference."

"You can't do that to Sasuke! It would devastate him! He did everything to try to give that baby the best life he could! What the fuck kind of family man are you? You're worse than the very people you're trying to stop! At least we rebels have morals!" Naruto screamed on the verge of tears.

"You know there is a way you can stop all this. Just tell us where the rebels are hiding and we'll not only let Uchiha-san keep his baby, we'll let you see him once before you're hanged."

"I…I don't know." Naruto couldn't stop a few tears.

"I think you do know." The man grinned, "In fact I think you want to tell me."

The tears were coming in a steady stream now. How had is parents done this? This was the hardest decision he'd ever had to make. "Can I have some time to decide?"

The man nodded, "You've got an hour. Just remember kid, your baby's life's on the line. Should he really be punished for your mistakes?"

Naruto bit his lip until he tasted blood but remained silent. Even if he didn't tell them where the rebels were, they'd never give up. They'd torture him like this day after day until he broke or he was hanged and Sasuke had gone through enough. He didn't need to lose the baby he wanted so badly. But the rebels were his family. He just couldn't make this decision.

* * *

><p>Sasuke crept from his bed to the hallway looking cautiously around to make sure he wasn't spotted by any of Orochimaru's men. He needed to find Kakashi. He needed to find out what had happened to Naruto.<p>

Sasuke slinked around the large estate looking for the masked man who seemed to have disappeared in the last hour, or however long it was that Sasuke had been asleep. Suddenly a voice from behind Sasuke startled him, "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Kakashi! What's going on? What have they done with Naruto?"

"I told you not to worry about him. Right now, he is being interrogated and if he can get through this without doing anything stupid our rescue plan should work." Kakashi said.

"He's as good as dead." Sasuke said.

"Give him a little credit, Sasuke. I'd like to think we've prepared everyone at camp very well for this type of thing. You just don't say anything or show any emotion and they mark you worthless."

"He's dead."

Kakashi chuckled. "Even if he does talk we'll think of something. Including myself, we have two geniuses in our rebellion and the rest aren't idiots. I'm just worried about what Ibiki-san is using against him. He's definitely the best interrogator there is and no one has had to talk to him before. But it will be fine." Kakashi smiled. "Go back to bed now."

"Kakashi, do they know the truth about the baby?" Sasuke asked.

Kakashi nodded. "A great deal of your father's men know, but no one had any intention of telling Orochimaru-san."

"They wouldn't use it against Naruto would they?"

Kakashi's smile disappeared. "Let's hope not or the rebellion is as good as gone."

Ibiki re-entered the room where Naruto hadn't moved an inch since he left. He smirked. This guy was an open book and Ibiki had him wrapped around his little finger. "Well, Kyuubi, what's your decision?"

Naruto's eyes were red and in a hoarse voice he spoke, "I-I'll tell you where the rebellion is. Just please don't hurt Sasu-chan or the baby."

"You made the right decision. Now tell me, where are your comrades hiding out?"

It took a few moments for Naruto's voice to obey him. "If you ride straight north for just a few hours, you'll find them."

Ibiki nodded and walked over to Naruto shoving him to his feet, "C'mon you're gonna show us exactly where to look."

"No, I can't do that! I can't face them after I betrayed them like this!" Naruto protested.

"What difference does it make? You'll all be dead soon anyway."

Naruto ground his teeth together. "Fine."

Ibiki shoved Naruto out the door and lead him to the group of soldiers that where waiting outside of the estate. "Straight to the north," He said, "He'll show when we get close." With that Naruto was pushed haphazardly into an awaiting carriage.

Kakashi was among the guards and ground his teeth as he mounted his horse. Was Naruto an absolute idiot? All of the Uchiha's men were under strict order not to breathe a word about Sasuke's pregnancy to Orochimaru and they certainly couldn't do anything to complicate it. This was going to be difficult.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Whoot! Last chapter! Hope you liked it! Comment, if you have the time.

The canter of what could only be described as a stampede of horses approached the camp hidden in the hillside. Shikamaru having been on lookout was the first to spot them, the entirety of Uchiha Fugaku's men riding straight for their campgrounds. After the initial shock had worn off Shikamaru banged the gong, a symbol that they were under attack.

The entire camp started to ready themselves for a battle while the men approached and hide high in the hilltops for the opportunity of an ambush.

"In the hills." Naruto said quietly. "That's where camp is."

Ibiki nodded, "The hills!" was his simple command and the entire battalion followed.

As the battalion reached the camp there was a foreboding silence before someone yelled, "Charge!" Then the battle began.

Naruto, of course, couldn't see anything and the screams and clashing of swords made him feel nauseous. He shouldn't have sold them out. For all he knew all of his friends were being massacred out there.

Outside the carriage the rebels and the guards were engaged in an epic clash. Swords swung, people fell, but nobody dared stop for anything. Even the wounded kept fighting.

"What's going on?" Kiba screamed, "How did they find us?"

"Does that matter right now?" Shikamaru yelled back. "Fight now, questions later! But if I had to put my money on anything I'd guess Naruto got tricked into this. Idiot!"

"Ahh," Sakura screamed as she fell nearly getting trampled in the mist of the chaos. She pulled herself back up and sliced clear through her attacker.

Lee jumped to Sakura's side helping her fend off the guards. "Sakura-chan! Are you alright?" He turned a dark glare on her attackers. "I shall not forgive you for attacking a lady!" Screaming like a true Jackie Chan, he began taking them down.

Kakashi threw the carriage doors open and took out the key to Naruto's handcuffs. "You idiot! No one is allowed to hurt Sasuke or his child now get out there and fight!" He freed Naruto's hands and pushed him out of the carriage. "You defend Iruka-chan because I can't blow my cover!"

Naruto smiled. "They really can't hurt the baby? That's great!"

After Naruto ran out to join the chaos of the battle, Kakashi decided the safest way to remain neutral was to fake an injury. He unsheathed his sword and stabbed himself through the leg.

Naruto's first decision was to tarhet Ibiki. That bastard would not go unpunished. He found him in the midst of the action. As the two locked eyes, Naruto screamed, "Lying asshole!" He took a bow and arrow from a dead body and fired at Ibiki.

The arrow hit Ibiki straight in the chest and he coughed up blood. "So you figured it out," Ibiki half-laughed half-coughed blood running down his face.

"You're a bastard! To make me sell out my friends with your fucking lies!" Naruto charged at Ibiki tackling him down. He threw punch after punch at him. "I bet your wife didn't have a miscarriage at all! I bet you're not even married!"

"You can kill me if you want," Ibiki said, "but it won't change anything. You've already sold out your friends. Do you really think they'll ever forgive you? The only person you have left will be married tomorrow and soon the very man you fought so hard to defy will be raising your son and fucking your lover."

"Shut up!" Naruto growled as he pulled the arrow out the Ibiki's chest only to thrust it through his eye.

Naruto stood over the dead body, panting. Anger and adrenaline still ran through his vains, however his blood froze when he heard a familair voice scream. "Ahhhh!" Naruto turned pale. That was Iruka's voice. Kakashi had asked him to protect him. He was his surrogate mother. Taking Ibiki's sword, Naruto ran to protect Iruka who thankfully wasn't dead yet. Iruka had suffered a near fatal blow to the chest from a guard's sword. By the time Naruto got there, his attacker had already been taken down. Likely, by Iruka himself who stood near the bloody coarpse before falling to his knees then the ground.

Naruto took Iruka in his arms. "It's okay, Kaa-chan. You'll be okay. Sakura and Tsunade...they'll fix you." Naruto's eyes shone with unshed tears, his voice cracking.

"Naruto," Iruka released a pained groan, "I want you to know I don't blame you. I would have done the same thing in your position."

"Don't talk like you're gonna die! No rebels are gonna die today! Teba!" A tear rolled down Naruto's cheek.

"You're just like your mother." Iruka smiled wistfully before going unconscious.

Naruto gentally set down Iruka's limp body. He remained near it, defeating any solider who dear come near his mother. Swinging his sword at the guards, he yelled for his comrades to hear, "We need to end this quickly you guys! Or we won't be able to save the wounded!"

"We don't need a gullible idiot to tell us things we already know!" Shikamaru yelled stabbing a guard. "If you hadn't noticed though, we're a little out numbered so this could take a while."

"Stop it Shika!" Sakura screamed, "Turning on each other now won't help anything!"

"Sorry! It's not that I don't forgive Naruto! It's just now isn't the time for him to be in control." Shikamaru screamed back.

"All I'm saying is fight like you mean it!" Naruto yelled back as he began to charge through the enemies, two swords he'd taken from dead bodies in his hands. He sliced his way through enemy after enemy, taking down two at a time. Inspired by Naruto's fighting, the other rebels began to do adopt similar fighting techniques. Sakura shoot arrow after arrow, piercing the heart of many soliders as Lee fought up to five at a time with his bare hands. Shikamaru used his speed to dodge, leaving his enemies slicing each other in his absence. Kiba charged through, slaughtering like a wild beast. The rebels became an unstoppable force. It wasn't long before Fugaku's men retreated.

"Everyone grab what you can!" Tsunade screamed, "We have to move camp before they come back."

"Shouldn't we take time to help the wounded first?" Naruto protested.

"We don't have time. We'll help them when they're safe." Shikamaru said.

The rebels scurried around grabbing what they could and helping the wounded into carriages. "We'll go west, hide in the mountains up there. No one from the village has charted that area. They'll never find us." Tsunade said mounting her horse and leading the group toward the mountains.

"I'm really sorry about this." Naruto said. "They told me if I didn't, they'd kill our baby and I couldn't let that happen."

Tsunade sighed, "Let's not worry about all that right now. Let's just set up camp and tend to our wounded."

Naruto nodded. He couldn't stay there too long. As much as he hated to admit it what Ibiki had said had really gotten to him. He wasn't going to let Orochimaru fuck his lover or raise his child. He was going to do whatever it took to get them back.

* * *

><p>After Kakashi's injuries had been treated, he went to report to Fugaku. "Uchiha-san," Kakashi bowed. "We suffered minimal causalities and the wounded all seem to be healing well. Unfortunately, we lost Ibiki-san and Kyuubi got away."<p>

"Damn it," Fugaku cursed, "Well at least we put the fear of god into the little bastard. I doubt if he'll try and come for Sasuke again, but just in case I want guards posted outside Sasuke's room until the wedding tomorrow. See that Sasuke goes nowhere without my knowledge."

"Yes, sir." Kakashi said. He left the room and went up to Sasuke's room. "Your father wants you to stay here until your marriage."

"Where else would I go?" Sasuke stood looking out the window of the large.

"I think he's more worried about where Naruto might take you than where you would go."

Sasuke turned to look at Kakashi, "He's free! Is he okay?"

"He's fine." Kakashi smiled. "As it stands right now he's helping the rebellion rebuild."

"Thank God," Sasuke sighed, "as long as he stays put until after the wedding everything should be fine."

"I doubt that he will." Kakashi sighed exasperated.

"I know," Sasuke said, "I suppose it was just wishful thinking."

"Well, in all fairness to him, I don't think anyone would just give up. I actually feel bad for trying to stop him."

"But if we didn't he'd get himself killed. In fact even with our best efforts he's still doing his best to get himself killed."

"Well then it almost seems like all this effort is wasted."

"Please Kakashi," Sasuke pleaded.

Kakashi sighed. He'd wanted to go help the rebellion and make sure Iruka had pulled through but then Iruka probably wouldn't want Naruto to be hanged either. Neither did Kakashi. He also had a soft spot for Naruto. No one else had quite the same effect on people. "Alright."

"Thank you Kakashi," Sasuke smiled.

* * *

><p>Sasuke stomped out of his room and into the hallway, "You!" He screamed at the guard to the left of his door, "If you insist on standing there and breathing through your mouth all night at least make yourself useful and get me some chocolate and pickled scallions."<p>

"Uh…chocolate and pickled scallions, Uchiha-san?" The guard asked hesitantly.

"Yes, and maybe a glass of milk."

"Um, as you wish, sir." The guard went down to the kitchen to fetch what Sasuke had asked for.

Sasuke went back to his bed and lye waiting for the guard to return. "You have even stranger taste than your father," He said to his stomach, "At least it wasn't that God awful Vienna sausage."

"Hey, that stuff was pretty damn good." Naruto said from Sasuke's window.

Sasuke's head snapped in the direction of Naruto's voice. "Dobe! What are you doing here?" He demanded.

"I'm not letting you marry Orochimaru, teme! I want you to come back with me!"

"I can't leave Naruto." Sasuke said, "But you have to. We've already caused too many people grief."

"The one who's been suffering most is you! I'm not just going to stand by while sacrifice yourself!"

"You have to leave now dobe. The guard will be back with my food soon."

"No, I'm not leaving until you agree to come with me!"

"Uchiha-san?" The guard knocked on the door. "I have the food you asked for."

"Um…Give me a minute," Sasuke called over his shoulder. "Dobe at least get down. I want that food and I can't let him in with you in plain sight."

"Alright," Naruto snickered. "Only because I think your cravings are cute." He climbed back out of the window.

"Okay, you can come in now." Sasuke called out to the guard who soon after entered the room with a plate of chocolate and pickled scallions. "Thank you," Sasuke said, "you're dismissed."

The guard bowed and left the room. The second after Naruto came back in through the window. "Chocolate and pickled scallions? Even I wouldn't eat that." Naruto said.

"Take it up with your son," Sasuke whispered pointing at his stomach, "It's a boy or at least that's what Orochimaru's doctors said."

"A boy," Naruto grinned. "That's what Ibiki called it too."

"I'm sorry," Sasuke said wrapping his arms around Naruto, "I'm sorry they used our baby against you. I wish you hadn't had to go through that."

"I'm sure you've had to go through worse." Naruto smiled wrapping his arms around Sasuke's waist.

"Dobe, I love you, but…you have to leave. I'm sorry. I wish we could raise our son together, but…"

"We can! I know one thing for sure: I'm not letting Orochimaru raise him! And I don't want you to have to sleep with him either!"

Sasuke smirked, "I was looking forward to that last bit."

"What? No way! That's not funny!"

Sasuke leaned his head on Naruto's shoulder, "Kidnap me dobe. Take me against my will and make me live with you and raise our son together."

"Twist my arm." Naruto smirked picking Sasuke up bridal-style to carry him out of the room.

* * *

><p>"Uchiha-san!" A guard yelled running into the living room where Fugaku and Itachi sat. "Uchiha-san, your son has gone missing!"<p>

"What?" Fugaku shot up from his chair, "How did this happen? You were supposed to be watching him! How could you let this happen?"

"Sir, we were watching him. It's a complete mystery how he got away." The guard said.

"The mystery is how an incompetent moron like you became an elite guard! Now quit wasting time and find my son before I strip you of your title." Fugaku screamed.

"Yes, sir!" The guard yelled running off to inform the others and start a search.

Kakashi sighed having witnessed the scene. So much for keeping Naruto away from the gallows. He might as well go home, help his rebellion, check on Iruka, and bring Sasuke back tomorrow. "Sir," Kakashi began, "As much as I'd like to help you look for Sasuke-san, I'm afraid I have familial issues to attend to."

Fugaku sighed, "Fine, fine," He said waving Kakashi away without looking at him. "I suppose we have enough guards without you…I didn't know you had family Kakashi. Why haven't I heard of them before?"

"We don't really talk about such things, Sir. It's unprofessional to burden you with my family life as I'm doing right now, but I'm afraid my wife isn't doing very well right now."

Fugaku looked remorseful, "I'm sorry to hear that Hatake. Take as much time as you need, I'm sure we can manage without you for a while."

"Thank you, Sir." Kakashi bowed and left the room.

"Uchiha-san!" The guard returned. "We can't find Sasuke-san on the property, we have several men still searching the town, but we haven't found Sasuke-san or a clue as where he might be. We think he may have left hours ago. He could be anywhere."

"Goddamn it!" Fugaku screamed, "He must be with that rebel, head to the hills. He couldn't have gotten far!"

"Yes, Sir!" The guard said running off to gather more guards to search the hills.

"See that Orochimaru never finds out about this!" Fugaku called after the guard.

* * *

><p>Kakashi walked into Tsunade's tent upon his arrival into camp. "Congratulations. I didn't think we'd actually win that last battle." He smiled at her.<p>

"I'm as surprised as you." Tsunade said, "What are we going to do about Naruto? He won't give up now. He'll crash every wedding the Uchihas have until he's got that brat back here with him."

"Funny you should mention that. I think he's already brought Sasuke to camp at the very least he took him away from Orochimaru's manor." Kakashi said. "I can take him back in the morning, but Naruto will just go get him again. We need a more permanent solution."

"I suppose we could just wait for the Uchiha to give birth to a blond haired, blue eyed nuisance. Orochimaru might kick them both out on their asses after that."

"Be serious," Kakashi said. "If the infant does look like Naruto what will Orochimaru do to it?"

"Who can say for sure? Mostly likely he'd kill it before Sasuke regained his senses. He'd call it a still birth and no one would be the wiser." Tsunade said, "To be honest it's the most likely fate for the child. Naruto's got strong genes. They passed from his father and they'll probably pass to his son. I'd be surprised if the child wasn't the spitting image of his father."

"Orochimaru is probably already aware it isn't his child anyway. No one would buy that bull for a minute. We both know the pervert probably only let it slide so he could have Sasuke. He's been taken with Sasuke since he was a mere child. Maybe we should just keep Sauske until the child is born. Then we can return Sasuke. No one will look for him. Sasuke can say it was a still born. With Sasuke back at home, they will have no reason to search for us and the child will be safe."

"To be honest, I'd rather Sasuke kept the child too if not for ethical reasons then because the child would need him, but what can we do? There's just no way for everyone to be happy."

After a moment of thought Kakashi said, "We could fake Uchiha's death."

"That's a great idea. No one will come after a dead man."

"I'll get one of the bodies from the battle. We'll dress it up to look like the Uchiha and I can bring it back to Orochimaru and his family. If all goes well Naruto should be able to raise his child without interference."

"A happy ending for everyone then. That calls for a drink." Tsunade downed her glass of sake.

* * *

><p>Sasuke and Naruto snuck through the camp and into Naruto's tent. "Thank God," Sasuke groaned plopping down on the familiar pile of pillows. "Dobe do you have any of those Vienna sausages left?"<p>

Naruto snickered. "No, teme, but I'll go get some if you want."

"Go. Now." Sasuke commanded.

"What? I didn't think you'd actually make me leave after we just got here!" Naruto pouted. "Fine, maybe Kiba'll have some. He loves those things." Naruto grumbled, stomping out of his tent.

Sasuke grinned, but his victory was short lived as the ubiquitous heartburn made itself known.

"Sasuke-san, somehow I knew I'd find you here." Kakashi smiled at him. "I know this is going to be a little strange to hear, but I need your clothes." Kakashi waited for Sasuke's jaw to drop before continuing. "Now, don't worry. I have a change of clothes for you. This is just part of a plan."

"What kind of plan requires my clothing?"

"The kind where you fake your death so you and Naruto can raise your child."

Sasuke sat in silent awe for a moment before nodding his understanding. He stood from the pillows and striped of his garments exposing the barely visible lump of his stomach.

Kakashi took Sasuke's clothing and handed him the others he'd brought him. Unfortunately, Naruto walked in before Sasuke could put said clothes on. "What the fuck are you doing, Kakashi?"

"Well, this is awkward." Kakashi said.

"Dobe, it's not what you think. Kakashi needs my clothes so he can fake my death."

"Oh," Naruto grinned. "That's awesome! Sasuke's gonna be able to stay here!"

"Wonderful as all this is I'd really appreciate that change of clothes now, and the Vienna sausage."

Kakashi threw the clothes at him. "Vienna sausages?" He raised his eyebrow.

Sasuke dressed hastily, "You get pregnant and then talk to me about my eating habits." He hissed pulling the last of the garments Kakashi had thrown on.

"I didn't mean to upset you, I could just never picture you eating them even when pregnant. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to find a guard. Goodbye." Kakashi walked out of the tent.

Naruto was still grinning like an idiot as he gave Sasuke the Vienna sausages. "You think that plan'll work?"

"I hope so," Sasuke sighed cutting up his meat, "I can't raise our baby with another man. It just doesn't feel right."

"And I wouldn't let you anyway. At least not with Orochimaru." Naruto said in distaste.

"Oh, but you wouldn't mind if it were Kakashi because he and I were talking and—"

"Teme! You would not raise our kid with Kakashi! He'll corrupt him! The only one you can raise our son with is me! Teba!"

"Calm down dobe," Sasuke smirked, "I had no intention of doing otherwise."

"Good," Naruto grinned. "So, what are we gonna name 'im?"

"Minato," Sasuke said rubbing the small protrusion of his abdomen. "That's what you came up with, isn't it?"

"It is, but I only had the right to name him 'cause I wasn't gonna meet him. Now, it seems like you should have a say in it."

"I like Minato. It was your father's name, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Naruto smiled. "It was."

"Well I don't see how we could name him after my father, but it seems fitting to name him after yours."

"Thanks, Sasu-chan," Naruto said crouching down to stomach level. "You've finally got a real name, little guy. You're gonna be named after your grandfather. Hey, Sasu-chan, what month does he start kicking?"

"Around the sixth he should start moving, but it will only be small flutters. It won't be until the seventh that he really starts kicking."

"I can't wait to feel him when he kicks." Naruto's grin grew.

"I suppose you would be excited about it as it's not your insides he'll be kicking."

* * *

><p>It was roughly a week after the search for Sasuke had began that a solemn looking Kakashi rode into town with a dead body dressed in Sasuke's clothing. He carried the body to Fugaku. "Uchiha-san, I'm sorry to say I found your son…like this."<p>

"Where…How…My God, Mikoto will be devastated." Fugaku said somberly.

"My condolences, Uchiha-san."

Fugaku shook his head, "I'll be in my study. See that nobody disturbs me." Fugaku walked away toward the house without another word.

Kakashi took the body to the nurses. "That's all that's left of Uchiha Sasuke. I'm sure a funeral will be requested so take care of the remains." Kakashi left without another word aiming to make a hasty retreat. He didn't want to see the effects of his handy work play out and something told him Itachi wouldn't buy it. Too bad for Kakashi Itachi was exactly who stopped him on his way out.

"Hatake a word?" Itachi said sternly.

"Yes, Uchiha-san. How may I help you?" Kakashi asked innocently.

Itachi pulled him aside, "Where is my brother? And don't lie to me Hatake or so help me God this whole estate will know you're a rebel before you can blink."

Kakashi cringed. "I was afraid you knew that. I promise you that Sasuke-san is happy and more importantly safe. The child will be raised by him and its father."

"And what about my mother? Have any of you thought of her? This will kill her."

"But you were so willing to take their baby away from its rightful parents. You're a hypocrite, Uchiha-san. You're mother is a bystander of the situation. I'm sorry for that, but there's nothing I can do. This is the way it had to be."

"Oh and why is that? So the blond moron can have his perfect little family. Why is his happiness more important than my mother's."

"Naruto's happiness isn't more important than your mother's. We needed a permanent solution to the situation. Would you rather be caught in a constant escape and capture fight with the two of them? Sasuke can't afford that kind of stress while he's pregnant anyway."

"I suppose that's true, but I can't allow you to let my mother think her baby is dead. Even if you don't tell her where he is you have to tell her that Sasuke and the baby are all right. She can't handle losing her son and her grandson all in one night."

"What the hell am I supposed to tell her? 'You're son isn't dead. Please don't ask me why I know this and don't tell your husband?' It doesn't work like that."

"So you're going to allow my mother to think her pregnant son is dead."

"I'm sorry but I can't tell her anything about the rebellion. It would put everyone there in danger including Sasuke."

"You don't have a choice. If you don't tell her I will."

"Fine." Kakashi ground out. He made his way to Mikoto's room with Itachi following him. "Uchiha-san, may I come in? There's something important I have to tell you." He knocked on the door.

A puffy eyed Mikoto opened the door, "Oh Kakashi, my baby," She wailed, "Oh God and his baby too. I should never have allowed that wedding. If we hadn't been going to visit Orochimaru none of this ever would have happened."

"Uchiha-san…that is actually what I came to see you about. Sasuke-san is not dead. He and his child are just fine. However I must ask you not to tell anyone especially your husband."

Mikoto threw her arms around Kakashi in glee, "Thank God! Oh Kakashi, where is he? Where is my baby? Is he okay? Is he being taken care of? Oh no! He doesn't have his prenatal vitamins."

"Uchiha-san, please calm down. I assure you he is being well taken care of by the medics and everyone around him."

"I-Is he with the father?" Mikoto asked breathing deep to calm herself down.

Kakashi nodded. "He is, but you shouldn't worry about him. I'm sure Kyuubi will take very good care of him. All of the rebels like Sasuke, they won't hurt him."

Mikoto smiled, "As long as he's happy. See that he's well taken care of Kakashi."

"Of course." Kakashi returned the smile. "Just don't tell your husband about any of this."

Mikoto put a finger over her lips, "It'll be our little secret."

* * *

><p>Kakashi walked into the tent where Naruto and Sasuke lay in bed. Sasuke was asleep, his head resting on Naruto's chest while Naruto stroked his back. "Shh, he's asleep." Naruto warned Kakashi. "Did the plan work? Can Sasuke stay here?"<p>

Kakashi just smiled and nodded.

"Yes!" Naruto cheered before cringing at the realization of how loud he'd been. He watched Sasuke carefully for a few moments to make sure he didn't wake up. "That was close."

"There is one little problem." Kakashi said. "Mikoto and Itachi not only know Sasuke is alive but where he is. They don't seem like they're going to stop us from keeping him here, but it's just something to think about."

"I'm sure everything'll be fine." Naruto grinned. "Even if something does happen there's not much we haven't already been through. We'll be prepared."

"I'm sure you will…but let me make this known. After everything you two have put everyone here through, if you ever break up I will kill you with my bare hands." Kakashi glared.

Naruto chuckled. "Don't worry, we won't. I love him way too much to let him get away."

* * *

><p>Four years later…<p>

Minato stifled his laughter as Sasuke picked up his coffee. Then let out a loud "No!" when Sasuke poured it out.

"Minato if you pour hot sauce in my coffee one more time I'll tell your father you were a bad boy while he was gone." Sasuke said menacingly.

"Dad's the one that told me to get Kakashi with it." Minato muttered.

Sasuke's eye twitched, "When he gets home I'm going to beat you both."

Minato gulped. "Uh-oh, that's why he told me not to let you know."

Sasuke rubbed his temples, "Minato finish your breakfast and go get dressed. You have lessons with Iruka-sensei in an hour."

"Ah!" Minato groaned before walking over to Sasuke and wrapping his arms around his legs. "I want to stay home with you today, Kaa-chan. Don't you wanna spend time with me?"

Sasuke picked up his son and kissed his cheek. "You are such a little manipulator, just like your father." Sasuke set his son down at the table, "Eat breakfast and get dressed or you can go to lessons hungry and in your bedclothes."

"Fine," Minato groaned sulking back to his breakfast.

"Daddy's home!" Naruto called through the tent at 90Dbs, his arms wide open for his family to come greet him.

"Dad!" Minato ran to Naruto. "You don't want me to go to lessons when you just got home, do you?"

Naruto picked Minato up. " 'Course not…but you've gotta." Minato frowned at the response. Naruto opened his free arm for Sasuke to hug him. "Did ya miss me, Sasu-chan?"

Sasuke neither answered nor hugged Naruto, instead he crossed his arms over his chest and said, "Dobe would you care to explain to me why your son has been dumping hot sauce in my coffee all week?"

"Minato! You've been doing that to your mom? What did I say?" Naruto looked disappointedly at Minato.

"Only to Tsunade, Kakashi, and Jiraiya." Minato muttered.

"That's right," Naruto grinned setting Minato down. "It's all worked out, Sasu-chan."

"Dobe! Don't teach our son to do things like that! You'll make him the biggest nuisance in camp."

"Right! Exactly like me! I'm passing on a legacy, teme!"

Sasuke sighed out his frustration, "Minato hurry up and get dressed your dad can walk you to Iruka's."

" 'Kay, Kaa-chan," Minato said running to get dressed.

"You can come too, teme." Naruto said.

"I've got thirty pounds of extra weight in my stomach, my feet are swollen just from standing…but I'll be here when you get back, all alone. With no children. After a week."

Naruto smirked lecherously. As he opened his mouth to make one of his famous perverted comments about how he had managed to impregnate Sasuke again, but Minato reappeared at his side ready for class. "C'mon, Minato, you need to go to class **now**." Naruto hurried him out of the door. "Race ya!"

"No fair!" Minato yelled running to catch up with Naruto.


End file.
